Daria Fan Fics

WWE does Facts of Life

Summary: Just what the title says.

Rating: PG-13

Notes: Linda McMahon is divorced with 3 kids Stephanie, Shane and Francine. Some episodes I’m skipping cause it wouldn’t work out right character wise. What’s in brackets is for my benefit so I know what I’m doing. I’m changing episode 1 season 2 just a bit to make more sense with Shelly’s last name for the story.

Disclaimer: I don’t own them the FOL characters, the DOD characters and the WWE characters own themselves.

Characters

Sara-house mother/dietician/friend
Francine McMahon -Rich snobby girl
Lee-chubby girl that’s funny
Ellie Long-African American finding her way
Shelly Austin-tough girl from the wrong side of the tracks
Undertaker-Headmaster and Sara’s husband
Ambrosia-boy crazy, good friend to Francine
Teresa Mattice-wholesome girl
Jessica-tomboy
Ana Leyfield -girl trying to be an adult
Trish Stratus-administrator under the Undertaker

Ric Flair-Sara’s old employer(episode 1 season 1)
Sean- Ric’s older adoptive son(episode 1 season 1)
Davey-Ric’s younger adoptive son(episode 1 season 1)
Pilar-Ric’s daughter(episode 1 season 1)
Linda McMahon-Francine’s daughter(episode 2 season 1)
Eric Bischoff-Linda’s friend(episode 2 season 1)
Theodore Long-Ellie’s Father(episode 5 season 1)
Simon Dean-Delivery Boy(episode 6 season 1)
Kurt Angle-Soldier(episode 7 season 1)

Mickey James-pot smoking rich girl (episode 8 season 1)
Jillian Hall-pot smoking rich girl 2 (episode 8 season 1)
John Bradshaw LeyField-Ana’s father (episode 12 season 1)
Michelle McCool-JBL’s girlfriend (episode 12 season 1)

Mark Henry-ID Checker (episode 1 season 2)
Davey-Ric Flair’s adoptive son (episode 1 season 2)
Dave Batista-cop that arrests the girls (episode 1 season 2)
JR-Eastland cook (various episodes season 2)
Victoria-tough girl in jail (episode 2 season 2)
Mae Young-Prison matron (episode 2 season 2)
Gregory Helms-Rich guy that Francine likes but Shelly goes out with (episode 3 season 2)
Cindy McMahon-Francine’s cousin with Cerebral Palsy (episode 5 season 2)
Matt Hardy-Shelly’s boyfriend (episodes 7 and 8 season 2)
Paul Burchill-Francine’s date (episode 7 season 2)
Jerry Lawler-hotel manager (episode 8 season 2)
Torrie Wilson-girl who commits suicide (episode 10 season 2)
Make out Maria-girl with bad reputation (episode 11 season 2)
Randy Orton-Lee’s date (episode 11 season 2)
Steve Austin-Shelly’s father (episode 12 season 2)
Stacy Keibler-make up goddess (episode 13 season 2)
Candice-porno star (episode 14 season 2)
Jonathon Coachman-porn photographer (episode 14 season 2)






Chapter 1
Who Am I?

Eastland Academy for girls:

The girls were hanging up a sign for the harvest fair.

“Girls hurry up we don’t want to be late for the harvest fair.” Said housemother Sara Calaway. Just at that moment Sara’s old employer Ric Flair, his adoptive sons Sean and Davey and his daughter Pilar walked in.

“Sara we’re here.” Said Pilar.
“Oh good you’re early.” Said Sara giving her ‘family’ a hug.
“We missed you, the boys never been to a harvest fair.” Said Ric Flair.
“Never been to a harvest fair? Sean how do you know when it’s Autumn?” Asked Sara.
“It’s easy in the city you knew when the muggers dress warmer.” Said Sean. In came tomboy Jessica with a baby brown pig.
“Sara, it was hard trying to catch the pig should I put him in the cage?” Asked Jessica.
“Put him in the tub first he has ring around the collar all over.” Said Sara. Jessica looked at Sean.
“What are you doing in a girls school?” Jessica asked.
“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Said Sean. Jessica walked over to Francine McMahon.
“Oh you’re first date Jessica just your type.” Said Francine petting the baby pig.
“You probably go for taller pigs Francine.” Said Jessica taking the pig into the back.
“Hey where is my little Davey?” Asked Sara.
“He’ll be right along he sent us on ahead to see if the coast was clear.” Said Ric Flair.
“It’s ok Davey no girls in here.” Said Sean.
“Hey.” Said Sara. Davey came in. He looked at the girls.
“Hey you lied to me from now on we’re distant cousins.” Said Davey. Sara picked up Davey.
“What’s this sudden purge of the girls?” Asked Sara.
“You call that sudden?” Asked Davey.
“In a few years you’ll like them.” Said Ric Flair.
“No I won’t they keep pinching my cheeks.” Said Davey.
“Girls aren’t so bad they grow on you.” Said Sean.
“Where?” Asked Davey looking himself up and down.
“We’re here to try and talk you into coming back.” Said Ric Flair.
“No can do.” Said Sara. Pilar bent near Davey.
“Come on Davey girls don’t bite.”
“I know Pilar but girls like to kiss and you take your life in your hands with the ones that like to wear braces.” Said Davey.
“You don’t have to worry about me Davey I don’t like kissing either.” Said Jessica coming in.
“You wouldn’t be pulling my leg would you?” Asked Davey.
“Why not you can use a couple of inches?” Asked Ellie Long on rollerskates.
“Pilar let’s go and change for the fair.” Said Ric Flair.
“Fine.” Said Pilar as she and the boys said goodbye. Ric Flair lagged behind. Pilar and Sean left first. Davey was about to leave but Francine bent down to him.
“Goodbye Davey mwahhhhhhhhh.....” Said Francine kissing him.
“Don’t move I want to forget you just the way you are.” Said Davey to Francine.
“Sara this housemother thing isn’t permanent is it?” Asked Ric Flair as Sara walked him to the door.
“No I’ll be back.” Said Sara.
“Good everything is topsy turvy I think I been wearing Davey’s underwear.” Said Ric Flair.
“Well that will keep you on your toes.” Said Sara as Ric left.

Jessica grabbed the rope and Francine and Ambrosia.
“Ok we need to practice for the fair.” Said Jessica.
“Listen slugger some of us want to talk about the dance.” Said Francine.
“Put your foot right here.” Said Jessica.
“Do you mind not pawing me?” Asked Francine as Jessica grabbed her foot.
“It’s her job she’s the head of the game’s committee.” Said Sara.
“Some of us are more interested what happens after the games, the dance, the boys, something super jock wouldn’t know anything about.” Said Francine.
“How would you like me to fix it so you can breathe through your ear?” Asked Jessica.
“This is a school for ladies not a training camp for Wrestling.” Said Sara. (Author’s note I changed that line from roller durby to Wrestling.)
“Don’t worry I have more important things on my mind, like Greg Hockney.” Said Francine. Teresa Mattice came up to Francine.
“Greg Hockney? Oh he’s a real hunk.” Ellie came in on her roller skates.
“Sara come quick the pig is loose on the bus.”
“Don’t get so excited Ellie he can’t drive a stick shift.” Said Sara following Ellie outside.

Sara’s husband and headmaster they called Undertaker and Trish Stratus head administration of the school came in.
“Good morning girls I’m the only one that makes house calls.” Said Taker. “How are you girls?” Ana Leyfield looked at the Undertaker.
“We’re women ok Mr Undertaker?”
“Sorry Ana keep forgetting you’re a woman.” Said Taker. “Since’s it’s my first year here I’m counting on Trish the old pro to help.” Said Taker. Trish looked him strangely. “I don’t mean old I mean she’s been around. No I don’t mean she’s been around she’s been around here for a long, long time. I mean she’s just a girl.”
“Taker I’m not coy about my age I don’t care who knows it I’m .....” Trish trailed off when she thought about it.
“You must be old if you’re not saying anything Miss Stratus. So that’s what it looks like.” Said Lee.
“Lee I’m in my full prime and soon you’re verging on the road to womanhood.” Said Trish Stratus.
“I thought we were all virgins?” Asked Lee.
“Can we stay later at the dance this year past curfew?” Asked Ambrosia.
“Ten o’ clock is the curfew.” Said Trish.
“It’s Saturday I think we can change the rules.” Said Taker.
“Change the rule?” Asked Trish.
“Just bend I think it will be 11:30.” Said Taker. The girls got excited.
“When I make a rule we stick with it.” Said Trish.
“You have sticky rules. Change it to 11:40.”
“Yay.” Said the girls.
“Taker you come from the public system with public rules but this is a private school with it’s own private rules.” Said Trish.
“Good keep them private. Girls 11:50.” Said Taker.
“I’m in bed by 11:50.” Said Trish.
“They can tuck you in when they get home from the dance.” Said Taker. Trish left. “Ok whose going to be in the harvest queen contest?” Asked Taker.
“Well I’m the reigning queen for two years in a row so I’ll be in.” Said Francine.
“Ok.” Said Taker.
“Count me out.” Said Ana. “Nobody’s judging me on my cleavage.” Said Ana.
“That goes for everyone?” Asked Francine.
“I nominated Jessica.” Said Teresa.
“Jessica?” Asked Francine.
“No.” Said Jessica. Ellie and Sara came in.
“Sara.”
“Oh hey Take.” Sara for the girls sake referred to her husband as Undertaker, Taker or Take.
“Guess what Sara Jessica is going to run against Francine for Harvest queen.” Said Ambrosia.
“Super now we’ll have a good race.” Said Sara.
“I can’t I don’t even own a dress.” Said Jessica.
“You can have the one my sister gave me I grew out of it before I grew into it.” Said Lee.
“Good.” Said Taker.
“Wait a minute.” Said Jessica protesting.
“It’s good.” Said Sara.
“Ok guys, I mean girls, I mean women on to the fair.” Said Taker.
“Teresa I have a problem I don’t know how to act around guys.” Said Jessica.
“Easy, try to act flattered if a nerd asks you to dance.” Said Teresa.
“Yeah say thanks nerd.” Said Ellie.
“Don’t say anything just grab him.” Said Ana.
“And remember Jessica you’re supposed to be a girl.” Said Francine.
“Let’s go and get Jessica ready.” Said Ambrosia.
“Teresa thanks for nominating me I love you.” Said Jessica giving Teresa a hug.
“Jessica what’s wrong with you?” Asked Francine.
“What do you mean?” Asked Jessica.
“All this hugging and kissing girls.” Said Francine.
“I didn’t mean anything by it.” Said Jessica.
“You better think about what you mean.” Said Francine going upstairs with the others.

Sara and Trish were in Sara’s room. Sara was fixing the dress for Jessica.
“Jessica is going to look good. What are you wearing?” Asked Sara.
“Nothing.” Said Trish.
“When do you arrive I don’t want to miss it?” Asked Sara.
“I meant nothing special, I have nobody to impress.” Said Trish.
“Don’t you have a date?” Asked Sara.
“Your husband and I are chaperoning the dance.” Said Trish.
“He’s the attila the hun. Nothing can surprise me. Ahhh!” Said Trish going to the window and screaming when Davey came in dressed in a hat and farmer pants.
“What’s up Davey?” Asked Sara.
“Can I hide in here?” Asked Davey.
“Sure.” Said Sara.
“There I was girls to the left of me, girls to the right of me then they hugged and pinched my cheeks.” Said Davey. “Are they red?”
“No permanent damage.” Said Sara looking at them.
“They dressed me up as elmer fudd it’s a curse to be darling.” Said Davey. There was a knock at Sara’s door.
“Come in.” Said Sara. Ellie and Teresa came in.
“Oh there you are.” Said Ellie.
“No sale sister.” Said Davey.
“I don’t have time for you child.” Said Ellie.
“Good I’m gone.” Said Davey going out the window.
“Jessica dropped out of the queens race.” Said Ellie.
“She locked herself in her room.” Said Teresa.
“I better go up to her.” Said Sara leaving her room.

Jessica was throwing the ball in her glove. She heard a knock at the door.
“Go away I don’t want to talk to anyone.” In the hall Sara was holding a cupcake and milk.
“I’m a little chocolate cupcake with no place to go.”
“Come in.” Said Jessica. As Sara came in Jessica walked over to her. “I’m not hungry and I don’t need that dress.”
“What? You’re going to the harvest ball dressed like that whoever heard of queens in jeans?” Asked Sara.
“I can’t go it’s not me this dress isn’t me it’s Francine I rather have a good baseball mitt with a good pocket.”
“That doesn’t prove anything even Francine would like baseball if Gucci would come out with a catchers mitt.” Said Sara.
“Nothing can make Francine like baseball and she’s right about me. I’m always hugging girls. Maybe I’m not normal.” Said Jessica. She sat down and Sara picked up Jessica’s mitt and went over to her.
“This has a good pocket. Just because Francine said something thoughtless and insensitive doesn’t mean you’re not normal.” Said Sara.
“How many girls are built like a boy and think of nothing but sports?” Asked Jessica.
“None that I can think of accept....” Said Sara naming some sport girls.
“Ok I get the picture.” Said Jessica.
“When I was growing up they used to use me as bean pole.” Said Sara.
“Really?” Asked Jessica drinking some milk.
“Only for one summer then that time clock took over and I got curvier and curvier and curvier.” Said Sara.
“I don’t like guys.”
“Why?” Asked Sara.
“They make me nervous.” Said Jessica.
“They make me nervous to especially my husband.” Said Sara.
“Well I don’t feel nervous around girls. You know me always hugging and kissing, I gotta stop that.” Said Jessica.
“Don’t you dare, up here we’re all family. Nothing wrong with hugging and touching it shows you’re a loving person and that’s good anyone that tells you differently isn’t secure with themselves.” Said Sara. Jessica looked in the mirror.
“I make someone a great brother.” Said Jessica. “Maybe if you shook me up real hard my clock will start.”
“Don’t worry about your clock it will start.” Said Sara. “That’s how my mother explained it to me.”
“My mom had my dad explain it to me. He said sex is a garden and when you love someone you have to put fertilizer on it. I like the time clock better.”
“Let’s see how you look in this dress.” Sara took off Jessica’s cap and put the dress against her. “Jessica you look beautiful.” Jessica’s long blonde hair fell down her back.
“I don’t think I look so hot.” Said Jessica.
“Who are you going to believe you or the mirror?” Asked Sara messing Jessica’s hair. Jessica fixed it.
“If Francine ever says anything like that again I’ll have to punch her out.” Said Jessica drinking more milk.
“Ok come downstairs.”
“No way not until Francine apologizes and she’ll never do that.” Said Jessica.
“Never say never, I’ll give you a tip on how to be a girl. Get rid of that little white moustache you look like colonel Sanders.” Said Sara leaving. Jessica looked in the mirror and wiped the milk off her lip.

Francine was downstairs in the main room primping in front of the mirror. The door knocked.
“Hello? Man in the room everyone decent?” Asked Taker.
“Yes Taker it’s just me.” Said Francine. Taker came in. “How do I look?”
“Do up the top button.” Said Taker.
“There is no top button.” Said Francine.
“Put one on and button it.” Said Taker. “What’s this I hear about Jessica not going to be in the race?”
“We had a little tiff.” Said Francine. Sara came down.
“Sara.”
“Taker.”
“I’m going to have a man to man talk with Jessica.” Said Taker.
“Oh?” Asked Sara.
“I mean girl, I mean woman.” Said Taker.
“Don’t worry she worked it out herself.” Said Sara.
“Oh good, I mean too bad, I mean it’s too bad I didn’t talk to her.” Said Taker.
“Don’t worry I’m sure they’ll be other chances.” Said Sara.
“Glad I helped.” Said Taker.
“Oh thanks.” Said Sara. Taker left. Francine came over to Sara in her purple dress.
“What do you think Sara?” Sara whistled and walked around Francine.
“Wow.” Said Sara.
“I know you might think it’s cut low and the eye shadow too heavy but this is the look that’s selling sex.” Said Francine.
“I think it’s just right for you Francine.” Said Sara.
“Thanks.” Said Francine.
“After all you’re the expert on tricks to attract men.” Said Sara.
“I guess so.” Said Francine smiling.
“I bet you can have any man you wanted.” Said Sara.
“Yeah probably.” Said Francine.
“I bet you have.” Said Sara.
“Where did you hear something like that?” Asked Francine.
“It’s obvious you been around.” Said Sara.
“No I haven’t been.” Said Francine.
“The way you get yourself fixed up, you smoke, you talk a good game.” Said Sara.
“That’s just talk.” Said Francine.
“If you advertise you must sell.” Said Sara.
“Ask any guy I’m a tease.” Said Francine.
“Tease not the way you look.” Said Sara.
“Hey I’m not what you see.” Said Francine.
“Yeah you can ask Jessica.” Said Sara.
“She looks more like a boy then a girl.”
“You jumped to conclusions.” Said Sara.
“Ok I shouldn’t make that crack about her being strange.” Said Francine.
“That was the crack.” Said Sara.
“I know I should apologize.” Said Francine.
“The sooner the better.” Said Sara.
“You mean now?” Asked Francine.
“Now is sooner. I’ll help yeah. Jessica!” Yelled Sara. Jessica came down.
“Yes Sara?”
“I’m the one that wanted to see you.” Said Francine.
“What about?” Asked Jessica.
“I’m going to do something I never did before and I’m not really good at. I want to apologize I’m rotten.” Said Francine.
“I guess someone that could admit they’re rotten isn’t really rotten.” Said Jessica.
“I want you to run for queen. You can give me a real battle now how about it?” Asked Francine. “Woman against woman?”
“Since you put it that way.” Said Jessica. She and Francine hugged.

After the dance Ric Flair and his family came in.
“Saw you at the dance Davey you looked happy I figured the girls left you alone.” Said Sara.
“He found himself a woman.” Said Pilar.
“Who didn’t squeeze or pinch him.” Said Ric Flair.
“All she did was stuff him.” Said Sean.
“She waltzed me over to the chicken and strut me over to the banana cream pie.” Said Davey.
“And tango to the turkey.” Said Sean.
“Won’t you come back?” Asked Ric Flair.
“When they find a replacement in the meantime I’ll send you care packages once a week.” Said Sara. Jessica came in with her dress. Sara came over to her.
“Sara.”
“Jessica I had to leave early did you win?”
“No it was a clean sweep for Francine.” Said Jessica. “She won the crown and Greg.” Francine came in.
“Yes it’s great on top didn’t Jessica tell you she’s the corn maiden?” Asked Francine.
“That’s good.” Said Sara.
“Something more important happened I was sitting there and guess what?” Asked Jessica.
“What?” Asked Sara.
“I was sitting looking at Greg and.”
“You’re clock started tick tock, tick tock?” Guessed Sara.
“Yes but much faster and Greg winked at me.” Said Jessica.
“He what?” Asked Francine as she hugged Jessica. They all gathered in the main room to eat and talk.

Chapter 2
Francine’s Mom

At the school today on top of the entry way in the hall leading to the kitchen and the basement there hung a sign that said Chez Calaway. Ellie on her roller skates came in with a tray singing in French. She rolled over to a table where Lee was and they started to set it up. Teresa and Ana came downstairs.
“Hey it looks great, a French restaurant idea for parents night was great.” Said Teresa.
“Yeah the old dump looks tre manufique.” Said Ana. Ellie cleaned the trey she brought some dishes on and said:
“Ya the tray does look manufique doesn’t it?” Lee picked up the plastic spoons in one hand to count them.
“Our parents are really going to be impressed we’re even using the good plastic.” Jessica and Ambrosia came in from the back.
“Ok Sara’s coming in with that French outfit we put together.” Said Jessica.
“And don’t kid her she’s kind of shy about it.” Said Ambrosia. Sara came in with a red feather in her beret, a red and black shirt sweater and a black knee high skirt. She tried to cover herself with her hands.
“I don’t know, I feel so silly. Do I look French?”
“You look great Sara.” Said Ambrosia.
“Hold that pose.” Said Ana.
“Oh?” Asked Sara.
“I’m looking you up on this book on body language.” Said Ana.
“Body language?” Asked Sara.
“Yeah it’s all about how we make moves with our body to tell people what we’re thinking. It says here when you stand with your shoulders straight what you’re really saying it I’m proud of my territory.” Said Ana. Sara stood straight.
“I’m proud of my territory.” Then she looked behind her in the mirror. “Am I?”
“Yes.” All the girls said.
“Oh what the heck.” Said Sara. She started to sing in a French accident.
“I love Paris in the fall time, I love Paris in the spring time, I love Paris in the winter time when it dwizzles, I love Paris in the summer time when it sizzles.” She started dancing around and the girls smiled. She then hit a high note and Teresa put her hand out to stop her.
“Forget it.” Said Sara.
“Great Sara you’re body was saying a whole bunch of things while you were dancing. It was saying ‘I’m not in Peekskill New York, I’m in Paris. So why are you covering yourself up?” Asked Ana. Sara put on her apron.
“You sent my body to Paris but I’m hanging out here.” Said Sara. Francine came down with one of her pictures she painted.
“Sara can I hang Quasimoda down here?” Asked Francine.
“He reminds me of a blind date I had once.” Said Sara. “It’s real good Francine.” Said Sara.
“Thank you. How do you like that I signed my first name Francine?”
“It’s tre chique and it will save money on paint.” Said Sara.
“I got the idea from my mom she signs her’s Linda. I can’t wait till she sees it tonight.” Said Francine. “I hope someday I can paint like she does.”
“Of course you will the leaf never falls from the tree.” Said Sara. “You’re proud of her aren’t ya?” Asked Sara.
“Yeah she’s great, she’s charming, she has a fantastic figure, she’s gorgeous, you can’t tell us apart.” Said Francine.
“I’ll bet she wears a flower in her hair.” Said Sara.
“Yeah how did you know?” Asked Francine touching her hair and realizing she put a purple flower in her hair. “Oh.” She laughed.
“Jessica can you get the cheese dip? I have to check the chocolate mousse and bring out the quiche Lorraine. Quiche me once, quiche me twice, quiche me once again.” Said Sara. Going into the kitchen. Undertaker and Trish came in.
“Hi girls the place looks great here are your hello badges.” Said Trish giving them to Teresa to hand out. “And here is your Taker.” Said Trish.
“No thanks Trish I know who I am.” Said Taker.
“Wear it you might be wrong.” Said Trish sticking it on Taker.
“Ok girls, women you’re parents will be here soon so get undressed.” Said Taker. They looked at him disgusting. “I don’t mean here go upstairs and take your clothes off.” They looked at him disgusting again. “I mean get changed upstairs and then come back down, hurry up.” Said Taker and the girls went upstairs. Trish went out the side door, Taker opened the front door. He banged into a woman with a package.
“Oh.” Said the woman.
“I’m sorry.” Said Taker picking up the package and giving it to her.
“I’m Francine’s mother. Linda McMahon.” She said.
“Of course.” Said Undertaker.
“And you don’t have to tell me who you are, you are the Undertaker.” Said Linda.
“How did you know?”
“Call it Karma, kismet.”
“A hunch?” Asked Taker.
“A name tag.” Said Linda pointing at his tag.
“Oh.” Said Taker.
“I used to be a student.” Said Linda. “It seems like only yesterday.”
“The way you look now it could have been this morning.” Said Taker. They shook hands.
“Thank you, ah thank you.” Said Linda trying to get her hand back. Sara was watching them.
“I suppose you’re husband is parking the car?” Asked Taker.
“If he is he’s parking it in Pittsburg we been divorced for years.” Said Linda.
“Poppy cock?” Asked Sara.
“This is my wife Sara and Francine’s housemother and this is Linda Francine’s mother, mother.” Said Taker.
“Hi.” Said Linda.
“Hi.” Said Sara.
“Is that my mother?” Asked Francine coming down the stairs and hugging her mother.
“I missed you.” Said Linda looking at Francine’s painting. “Great job.”
“Thanks mom I want you to meet my friends.” Francine introduced them one right after the other and they said hi at each introduction. “Meet my gorgeous mom.” Said Francine. Linda groaned embarrassing.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I ever met.” Said Ambrosia.
“Thank you dear.” Said Linda.
“What do you gotta do to look the way you look?” Asked Teresa.
“Well I eat right, get exercise and drink milk.” Said Linda.
“If I can look like that I drink a cow.” Said Ellie.
“Come on we gotta get back to work.” Said Ambrosia.
“On the double, on the double.” Said Sara.
“Wouldn’t you love to have a pair of legs just like that?” Asked Jessica.
“I would settle for just one.” Said Lee.
“Yeah.” Said Teresa. The girls left the main room.
“I have a surprise for you Francine your first Christian Dior.” Said Linda as Taker held the box she took the lid off it.
“Oh mother thank you!” Yelled Francine in excitement.
“Let’s hold it up.” Said Linda.
“There is a full length mirror in here.” Said Francine taking her mother to the back.

*ok I gotta change this next part just a bit cause in the story of course Taker and Sara are married so it wouldn’t make sense if I have Taker going after Linda.

“Sara.”

“Don’t say it Taker.”
“You know it’s nothing.”
“Yeah I know she likes to flirt.”
“Yeah.”
“You can be nice but the headmaster better keep his head on his shoulders or else.” Said Sara.
“Or else.”
“You’ll be singing soprano.” Said Sara.
“Got it.” Said Taker. Ambrosia came in the door with a man.
“Here he is. Undertaker this is Eric Bischoff, Nina’s father.” Said Ambrosia. She left.
“Hi.” Said Eric Bischoff.
“Hi.” Said Taker.
“My wife couldn’t make it.”
“Oh?” Asked Taker.
“The flu.” Said Eric.
“Ah make yourself comfortable.” Said Taker leaving and Eric sat down on the couch.
“Mr. Bischoff.” Said Sara.
“Sara.”
“Welcome to parents night viva France, I’m sorry you’re wife couldn’t make it.”
“Thank you.”
“Excuse me for a minute.” Said Sara and she left the room. Linda and Francine came into the room.
“Eric Bischoff?” Asked Linda.
“Linda!”
“Don’t tell me you have a daughter here to?” Asked Linda.
“Yeah Nina she’s on the welcoming committee down at the gate.” Said Eric.
“I should have known she looks like you.” Said Linda.
“This must be your daughter?” Asked Eric.
“This is Francine.” Said Linda.
“I should have known in one family all that beauty.” Said Eric.
“Honey this is Eric Bischoff he went to the boys school up the street.” Said Linda.
“We broke a lot of curfews together.” Said Eric.
“Say hello to Mr Bischoff.” Said Linda. Francine took out her hand and Eric shook it.
“How do you do?”
“I do fine.” Said Eric winking.
“Is that a way to greet an old friend of mine?” Asked Linda.
“Mother I just met Mr Bischoff.” Said Francine.
“Sorry I thought you were my daughter.” Said Linda.
“I am.” Francine gave Eric a kiss on the cheek.
“She’s going to break a lot of hearts.” Said Eric.
“Honey go upstairs and try on the dress while Eric and I talk.” Said Linda.
“Ok.” Francine took the dress upstairs to her room. Ana was sitting in the corner by the side door as she saw Linda and Eric leave to the yard. Ellie and Lee came in.
“Boy Francine’s mother knows how to talk with her body.” Said Ana. Sara came in from another room.
“And when she talks people listen.” Said Sara.
“The way she tilts her head and sways her hips says ‘I’m inviting you to my territory.” Said Ana.
“And she does it really.” Noted Lee.
“Lee.” Said Sara.
“Let’s study Trish’s body.” Said Ana.
“Study Trish? I think you’ll have to read between the lines.” Said Ellie. Trish came in and Sara arranged flowers.
“Good evening Sara.”
“Good evening Trish.”
“Nice night isn’t it?” Asked Trish.
“Yeah.”
“Can I borrow a pen I have some more hello badges to fill in?” Asked Trish. Sara handed her a pen.
“Whose that one?” Asked Sara.
“Mrs Bischoff.” Said Trish.
“Oh no Trish she’s at home with the flu.”
“Well whose kissing Mr Bischoff in the garden?” Asked Trish.
“Maybe if we’re lucky Mrs Bischoff with very long lips.” Said Sara.
“That’s funny.” Said Trish.
“Not funny if he’s there with Francine’s mother.” Said Sara.

Francine and Teresa were in Francine’s room. Francine was holding up the dress.
“Well what a dress.” Said Teresa.
“You can wear it sometime if it fits you.” Said Francine.
“It will fit.” Said Teresa sucking in.
“I think it’s too long I’m going to see if Sara will shorten it.” Said Francine.
“Don’t shorten it too much.” Said Teresa sucking in again. Francine left with the dress.

Teresa sat on the floor to exercise.
“Go away hips get lost.” Said Teresa. Ellie and Lee came in.
“Teresa guess what we saw by the water fountain?” Asked Ellie as Teresa stood up.
“Francine’s mon and Mr Bischoff were making out.” Said Lee.
“They’re having an affair.” Said Ellie.
“The kind that isn’t catered.” Said Lee.
“I don’t believe you, you’re both buggy.” Said Teresa.
“Does this sound buggy.” Ellie looked at Lee. “Linda darling if I knew you were going to turn out so beautiful I wouldn’t have teased you so much.” Said Ellie in a low voice.
“Are you teasing me now Eric?” Asked Lee flipping her hair.
“No, no honey I never forgot about you.” Said Ellie as Eric.
“I never forgot about you.” Said Lee as Linda.
“Linda darling you know what your perfume does to me?” Asked Ellie as Eric.
“What?” Asked Lee as Linda.
“It drives me wild come here.” Said Ellie as Eric.
“And kiss, kiss, kiss it was disgusting.” Said Lee as she and Ellie laughed.
“Stop laughing it’s not funny.” Said Teresa.
“You’re right.” Said Ellie getting serious.
“You two shouldn’t have been there but as long as you were what else did they say?” Asked Teresa and Ellie and Lee started telling.

Sara and Francine were in Sara’s room. Sara was trying to thread a needle.
“I have a young heart with old eyes.” Said Sara.
“You’re not old.” Said Francine.
“As soon as I’m done threading this needle you can hem your dress.” Said Sara.
“All there is to it?” Asked Francine.
“Yes didn’t your mother ever teach you?” Asked Sara.
“My mother said beautiful women weren’t put on this earth to do menial tasks.” Said Francine.
“Oh.” Said Sara.
“It’s not saying you’re not beautiful.” Said Francine.
“I know it angel.” Said Sara.
“Or what you do is menial.” Said Francine.
“I know that to it’s not menial as long as you do a good job at it.” Said Sara. As Francine hemmed she asked:
“Sara what do you think of my mother?”
“I just met her she’s nice.” Said Sara.
“Everyone raves how beautiful she is but you haven’t said a word.” Said Francine.
“She is.” Said Sara.
“But she’s a flirt.” Said Francine.
“Yes.” Said Sara.
“She doesn’t mean anything by it.” Said Francine.
“I know.” Said Sara. “Oh no!”
“Did I do something wrong?” Asked Francine.
“No I did I did the mousse but I forgot to put in the fridge. Oh can you call the drugstore and asked them to send ice cream?” Asked Sara.
“Sure.” Said Francine.
“There is no excuse for a loose mousse.” Said Sara leaving to go to the kitchen.

Francine walked into the main room to use the phone. She saw Eric and her mother. Eric just got off the phone.
“I got us a corner table romantic.”
“You’re such a devil.” Said Sara.
“What’s wrong with friends having a drink?” Asked Eric.
“And after drinks?” Asked Linda.
“A long dessert.” Said Eric. They left and Francine looked horrified.

Francine went up to her room to take out the flower in her hair and give Teresa and Ambrosia the dress.
“You’re crazy giving us this dress?” Asked Ambrosia. Francine brushed her hair and put it in tails.
“There is a curse attached to it.” Said Francine.
“I’ll take it.” Said Teresa taking it out of Ambrosia’s hands.
“It must have cost a hundred dollars.” Said Ambrosia.
“The buttons cost that much.” Said Francine doing the other tail.
“If it’s that expensive I can’t take it.” Said Ambrosia.
“I can take it.” Said Teresa taking it out of Ambrosia’s hands again.
“Neither of us should have it.” Said Ambrosia trying to grab the dress out of Teresa’s hands. Teresa yanked it back.
“It’s mine.” Said Teresa. Ambrosia took it again.
“Give it back to Francine.” Francine took it and threw it in the garbage.
“I don’t want it.” Teresa took the garbage and took out the dress.
“Trash day I’ll keep it.” Said Teresa. While Francine was trying to put cream on her face Ambrosia chased Teresa out.
“It’s not your style, it’s not your waste basket.” They chased eachother down the hall. Sara came in.
“Francine did you order the ice cream?”
“I’m sorry I forgot.” Said Francine rubbing the cream all over.
“Wasn’t that Teresa walking out with your dress?” Asked Sara.
“I gave it to her.” Said Francine.
“That was generous I hope your mother understands.” Said Sara.
“I don’t want it. I never want to hear like mother like daughter again.” Said Francine taking most of the cream off but some was still on. She took her rings off her fingers.
“What’s wrong?” Asked Sara.
“She found her latest conquest Mr Bischoff I don’t want to be like her.” Said Francine. She put on some funny glasses. Sara took them off. Ellie came in.
“Sara.”
“What is it Ellie?”
“You should see your husband and Francine’s mom on the couch.”
“Ellie.” Said Sara.
“I’m going to call my mother on her stuff.” Said Francine.

Sara left.
“You must be a wonderful headmaster spending time with the parents like you do.” Said Linda.
“I try to make time.” Undertaker didn’t noticed Linda rolling her eyes.
“Anyone can see that. Snack?” Asked Trish.
“No.” Said Taker.
“Yes.’ Said Linda reaching for one. Sara came down.
“Mrs McMahon can you excuse me. Taker may I speak with you?” Asked Sara.
“No.” Said Taker.
“Ah.” Said Sara.
“It’s very important.” Said Taker.
“Ah huh.” Said Sara. They went into a corner.

*a little change again:

“What?”
“I’m going to ignore you trying to hit on Francine’s mother before my eyes and tell you Francine is upset.”
“About what?” Asked Taker.
“Francine is upset her mother is going out with a married man.” Said Sara.
“No she and I aren’t.” Said Taker.
“No her and Mr Bischoff.”
“What?” Asked Taker.
“You talk to Francine.”
“No we’ll butt out.” Said Taker. Francine came down.
“Mother I have to talk to you.”
“Francine.” Said Sara trying to get her to not do anything she’ll regret.
“Francine why aren’t you wearing the dress I bought?” Asked Linda.
“That is your kind of dress mother not mine. I want to change my image.” Said Francine.
“What do you want to look like?” Asked Linda.
“Unlike you as much as possible.” Said Francine.
“What is this about?”
“You’re sneaking around with a married man.” Said Francine.
“If you are talking about Eric and myself we have been friends for years.” Said Linda.
“He’s a married man!” Yelled Francine.
“What is wrong with a harmless get together between friends?” Asked Linda.
“If it’s harmless why were you whispering about it? I heard the whole thing.” Said Francine.
“Francine!” Said Linda. “Men are attracted to beautiful women and like it or not you’ll have that same problem to.”
“No I won’t cause I won’t be like you.” Said Francine. “No wonder you been married three times. I’m ashamed to have a mother like you.” Linda slapped Francine and Francine ran upstairs.
“Francine!” Yelled Linda.
“Anyone for punch? I mean pound cake?” Asked Taker.

Sara came into Francine’s room.
“Hi.”
“Sara I guess I’m in for a lecture.”
“I don’t lecture I need a break.” Said Sara sitting down and reading Ana’s body language book.
“Good cause I won’t change my opinion of my mother.” Said Francine.
“Ah.” Said Sara.
“So you agree.” Said Francine.
“No I was checking this book.” Said Sara.
“You don’t believe that stuff?” Asked Francine.
“Yes I do especially what it says about you on page 63.”
“What does it say about me on page 63?” Asked Francine.
“Well the way you have your arms folded kind of like a judge. You haven’t sent anyone up the river lately have you?” Asked Sara.
“My mother deserves to be judged. She messed a lot of lives including mine.”
“You’re life is just beginning.” Said Sara.
“I just have to watch her to see how I’ll become.” Said Francine.
“So she slightly flirts.” Said Sara.
“That’s like saying that the Eiffle Tower is slightly tall.” Said Francine.
“You know hun not every mother came up here to see their daughter. You love your mother and loving means accepting the whole package.”
“It’s a curse I’m beautiful.”
“Doesn’t mean you’ll be like your mother.”
“Oh come on Sara you said it yourself the leaf doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Said Francine.
“I said that didn’t I?” Asked Sara. “I didn’t tell you about the wind.”
“The wind?”
“The wind carries the seed up so the seed can grow into a beautiful original flower.”
“Well she is loaded.”
“Your body says you’re feeling better.” Said Sara.
“How do you know?” Asked Francine.
“The way you stand.” Said Sara. Teresa came in with Francine’s dress.
“There you are since Francine doesn’t want the dress anymore can you show me how to lengthen the hem?” Asked Teresa. Sara and Francine looked at eachother.
“Why you looking at me that way?” Asked Teresa. “Francine wants her dress back?” Sara and Francine nodded and Teresa handed it over. They laughed about it.

Sara and Francine came down.
“Oh Francine.” Said Taker.
“Did my mother leave?” Asked Francine. Linda and the girls came out from the kitchen and Linda was holding a dish.
“Is that you mother in an apron?” Asked Francine.
“I thought I better act you and not like me.” Said Linda.
“You haven’t cooked in years.” Said Francine.
“It was easy when they showed me what a stove and a fridge was.” Said Linda.
“Hey she should spend the night.” Said Ana.
“I have an extra nighty.” Said Sara.
“I like that.” Said Linda.
“There are a lot of sides to you.” Said Francine.
“That’s what’s so special about her.” Said Sara.
“And she keeps all of those curves.” Said Taker.
“Ok sing French.” Said Sara. They sang and had fun the rest of the night.

Chapter 3
The grass seems greener

Sara came in wearing an aviator jacket. Lee, Jessica and Ambrosia were on the couch.
“I never seen it so quiet.” Said Sara.
“Shhhhhhh.” Said the three girls.
“Ah exam time.” Said Sara. Francine and Teresa came in with a whole bunch of junk food on a plate.
“Now I can study I got my energy food.” Said Francine.
“That’s right.” Said Teresa. The other three girls went to the plate and grabbed something.
“Hey.” Said Francine.
“Woa watch it.” Said Teresa. The three girls went upstairs.
“That’s right girls, now you can go upstairs and start cramming. And when you finish cramming put away the food and start studying.” Said Sara.
“Sara you want some avocado spread?” Asked Francine.
“No thanks Francine I have my own avocado spread.” Said Sara.
“Teresa come upstairs and help me with that history test.” Said Ambrosia.
“Ambrosia what are you going to do when your boyfriend proposes ask Teresa for the answer?” Asked Francine.
“I can’t help it when it comes to school work Teresa is my security blanket.” Said Ambrosia.
“Come on Ambrosia what should we study first?” Asked Teresa. They went upstairs Francine stayed behind. Undertaker came in.
“Good morning girls. Ah where are they?” Asked Undertaker.
“Studying Take.” Said Sara giving her husband a kiss.
“What are you reading?”
“How to fly.” Said Sara.
“Why do you want to fly?”
“I’m scared of flying, when I was a kid I was fearless, when I was 9 I won a bet and jumped into a pile of hay from the barn.” Said Sara.
“You must have been a fun date.” Said Francine putting avocado spread in her mouth.
“I was.” Said Sara.
“She is. Francine study.” Said Taker.
“Bye.” Said Francine going upstairs.
“Bye.” Said Taker.
“I got 20 hours and tomorrow I go solo.” Said Sara.
“That’s good.” Said Taker. Trish Stratus came in.
“Hey Undertaker here is a copy of my history exam for tomorrow and I think this is yours it was delivered to me by mistake.” Said Trish.
“Good.” Said Taker taking the package from Trish. “These are the girls iq scores from their previous schools.”
“Oh?” Asked Trish.
“They are the smartest in the state.” Taker was pleased.
“How can you put so much weight on them from an intelligent test that was taken back in grade school?” Asked Sara.
“By this age they reached their brain potential. Am I going too fast?” Asked Taker.
“No.” Said Sara.
“It’s not that cold hearted Sara and they never see the iq.” Said Trish.
“Undertaker!” Yelled Ellie coming in on her skates. She was wearing a yellow shirt with blue denim pants. She fell and Undertaker picked her up.
“You alright?” He asked.
“Yeah I landed on my soft part.” Said Ellie.
“Miss Tracy is giving a geology test and she wanted me to find one of you.” Said Ellie.
“What’s the problem?” Asked Trish.
“She has to go to the bathroooooooooom.” Said Ellie.
“I love to go but I got 8 rabbits in trouble.” Said Trish.
“Huh?” Asked Taker.
“You know what I mean.” Trish left.
“I’ll go.” Said Sara.
“No Sara you can’t be a watch a dog but can you cover the phones in my office?” Asked Taker.
“Sure.” Said Sara. They left and Ellie found a piece of paper.
“Stanford-Benet iq scores? For everybody in school?” Her eyes went wide. “Sure didn’t know she was the smartest or she was the dumbest.”

Upstairs Ambrosia asked.
“Teresa can you fill me on the Louisiana purchase?”
“Sure they Louisiana purchase cost us almost 6 million dollars.” Said Teresa.
“Wow that’s a lot of money.” Said Jessica.
“They probably just charged it.” Said Francine looking in her mirror. Ellie came in.
“I have a secret nobody is supposed to know.” Said Ellie.
“What is it Ellie?” Asked Ambrosia.
“I know who the smartest girl is.” Said Ellie.
“No secret it’s Teresa.” Said Ambrosia.
“Oh not necessarily Ambrosia.” Said Teresa.
“She’s right it’s not her.” Said Ellie.
“See who is the smartest?” Asked Teresa sounding sad.
“Well it couldn’t be me. I got too many other things going for me.” Said Francine.
“You right Francine it’s not you either.” Said Ellie.
“Oh.” Said Francine.
“It’s Ambrosia.” Said Ellie.
“No I’m not.” Said Ambrosia.
“Don’t be so stupid I just told you.” Said Ellie.
“How do you know all this?” Asked Ana.
“I found the iq list.” Jessica and Ana tried to get nosy.
“Let us see.” Said Jessica.
“I’ll show you one at a time.” Said Ellie.
“Why should you know and not us?” Asked Ana.
“Because I can keep a secret.” Said Ellie. She showed the scores then got to Lee.
“We have the same iq scores.” Said Ellie to Lee. Ellie was African American and Lee was Caucasian. They held hands and shook on it.
“I knew we were soul sisters.” Said Lee. Jessica took the paper to Francine.
“Francine you want to see your iq?” Asked Jessica. Francine looked at it.
“Oh great my iq is higher then my weight.” Said Francine. Ellie took the paper back. Ana looked at the list.
“I don’t believe it. Teresa has the lowest iq on the list.” Teresa looked at the list.
“Congratulations Ambrosia for being so smart.” Said Teresa.
“It’s not a big deal.” Said Ambrosia.
“Don’t be upset cause you’re the dumbest in school.” Said Ana. Teresa was in near tears. “My brother’s friend was dumb and now he’s the most successful dog catcher in Peramus New Jersey.” Said Ana.
“Thanks maybe I can work my way to being manager of a lemonade stand.” Said Teresa.
“You’re being ridiculous.” Said Ambrosia. “You always got good grades and this won’t change anything.”
“Yeah and if you need help Ellie and I can tutor you.” Said Lee.
“It will cost you.” Said Ellie. Sara came in.
“Hi girls Teresa you’re good at math can you help me with this problem?” Asked Sara.
“Why don’t you ask Ambrosia?” Asked Teresa leaving. Ellie hid the paper behind her back.
“Ellie this couldn’t possibly be the iq scores?” Asked Sara.
“No Sara not possibly, definitely.” Said Ellie.
“What should you do about it?” Asked Sara.
“Make a break for it.” Said Ellie trying to roll away. Sara stopped her. “Ok let’s go to the Undertaker’s office.
“I’ll roll you down that last mile.” Said Sara taking Ellie out of there.

Later on Sara was pretending to be a plane in her room when Teresa came in.
“I’m sorry was I interrupting your homework?”
“I think it’s time for maintenance anyway.” Said Sara. She looked at how sad Teresa was. “Let’s taxi over to the bed.” They sat down on Sara’s bed.
“I’m sorry about the way I acted before I was rude.” Said Teresa.
“No you weren’t.” Said Sara.
“I heard Ellie is punished.” Said Teresa.
“Yeah she has to write on the blackboard I shall not be nosy. That will keep her busy for a few minutes.” Said Sara. She laughed. “What’s the matter Teresa you’re not worried about that iq stuff?” Asked Sara.
“It’s not silly I’m the dumbest and everyone knows it.” Said Teresa.
“Teresa tomorrow I fly solo now if Ellie gave me a list of iq scores and said I was the dumbest what do you think I would say?”
“You would say Ellie what the heck are you doing up here?”
“For sure. Teresa you’re an excellent student this means nothing.”
“If you’re at the top of the list like Ambrosia she won’t complain.” Said Teresa in tears and Sara trying to comfort her.

Upstairs Ambrosia was trying to study and Francine was looking over her shoulder.
“Come on Ambrosia share your brain.” Said Francine.
“Francine you’re the 5th girl that has come to me and I can’t help you, I’ll be lucky if I pass this test as it is. Go to Teresa.” Said Ambrosia.
“When I want help I go to the best and that’s you.” Said Francine.
“I don’t care what the iq is I don’t want to be the smartest.”
“You should be proud you’re number one.” Said Francine.
“I can’t handle the pressure now please leave so I can study.” Said Ambrosia grabbing Francine’s arm to throw her out.
“Well you don’t see me getting upset when people tell me how gorgeous I am.” Said Francine.

Later on Ambrosia tried to study in the main room and Teresa looked at the board.
“Didn’t miss Stratus post the scores yet?”
“Why are you asking me you got eyes?” Asked Ambrosia.
“Can’t you answer a simple question?” Asked Teresa. “You are the smartest.”
“Get off my case.” Said Ambrosia. “I had to guess at half the answers and I hope I guessed right.” Said Ambrosia. Teresa sat next to her on the couch.
“Get off it I hate it when smart people pretend they are dumb so everybody else won’t feel so bad.” Said Teresa.
“If you don’t like it tough ok Teresa and I’m sick and tired of hearing how high my iq is so cut it out.” Said Ambrosia throwing down her book.
“I’d give anything to have your problem you’re on top how would you like knowing you’re spend the rest of your life in the basement?” Asked Teresa.
“Show me how and you got a deal. Teresa I like how it used to be. I can’t handle being up by myself.” Said Ambrosia.
“It’s miserable being down.” Said Teresa.
“Yeah.” Said Ambrosia.
“I wish they never invented iq’s.” Said Teresa. Francine came in.
“What are you looking so intense for? Exams come and go, worry lines stay with you forever.” Said Francine. Then she looked in the mirror. “I wasn’t talking about you.” Smiling at herself she went upstairs. Sara came out of her room.
“Well girls wish me luck I’m going to fly solo beautiful day for it to.” Sara went to the door and thinking how the girls looked she turned around and went back to the couch. “What’s wrong?”
“We took our mid terms this afternoon.” Said Teresa.
“You both do so well I’m sure there are no problems.” Said Sara. Trish Stratus came in with the other girls.
“Mid terms are over.” She posted them. “You got nothing to do for the next three months but study for finals.”
“Miss Stratus tell these two girls that they did great.” Said Sara.
“I wish I could. Ambrosia I don’t know where your mind was you guessed at half the answers.” Said Trish.
“I tightened up I couldn’t think.” Said Ambrosia.
“And Teresa where was your brain? You put answers where there wasn’t any questions.” Said Trish. “You both failed I don’t know what to say.” She left.
“With all this iq fuss no wonder you had a hard time.” Said Sara.
“There won’t be a next time I’m leaving school.” Said Teresa.
“What?” Asked Sara.
“It’s just going to get harder.” Said Teresa.
“Ambrosia help me talk some sense into her.” Said Sara.
“I don’t think I would be convincing Sara I’m going to leave to.” Said Ambrosia.

Ellie was doing dittos in the classroom.
“Ell, Ell, Ellie goodbye, Ell, Ell, Ellie don’t cry.” Undertaker came in.
“Ellie.” She looked at him. “Not happening.” He stated.
“Dittos don’t slice it huh?” Asked Ellie.
“No start over.” Said Undertaker.
“Can I help it if I’m years ahead of my time?” Ellie wiped off the blackboard. Sara came in with Ambrosia and Teresa.
“Take I been looking all over for you.” Said Sara.
“You found me.” Said Taker.
“These girls are so upset at your iq foolishness they are packing to leave school.” Said Sara.
“Ambrosia and Teresa what’s wrong?” Asked Undertaker.
“I’m not smart enough to be here.” Said Teresa.
“I can’t handle the pressure.” Said Ambrosia.
“They flunked thanks to you.” Said Sara.
“It would be bad if I say that iq’s meant nothing and it’s not bad if they know their scores.” Said Undertaker.
“That means I’m free to go?” Asked Ellie trying to roll away.
“Make it a round trip Ellie.” Said Undertaker and she rolled back to the board. “We all can’t have the same iq if someone has a lower score then they have to push to get the high scores it’s simple.” Said Undertaker. “I’m not going too fast for you am I Teresa?”
“See you’re just like the rest of them Undertaker.” Said Teresa. “I’m ashamed and I don’t like that everyone knows my iq.” Said Teresa.
“Me to now they expect too much from me.” Said Ambrosia. Trish came in singing.
“Hello what’s going on here?”
“We’re talking.” Said Sara.
“They know their iq’s and I’m trying to comfort them.” Said Undertaker. Trish looked at Ambrosia and Teresa.
“You make good progress.”
“It would help if you share your iq score with them.” Said Sara.
“Fine I’ll write to my grade school tomorrow.”
“What you don’t know?” Asked Sara.
“Not off hand.”
“Me either. We’re even.” Said Sara.
“I doubt that.” Said Undertaker.
“Would it bother you if I was smarter?” Asked Sara.
“No.” Said Undertaker.
“Then let’s take the test.” Said Sara.
“We don’t have any.” Said Undertaker.
“We got one it’s a sample with the scores.” Said Trish.
“Ok.” Said Sara. They took the test orally but Taker was under pressure and tried to cheat off Sara. Then he got exasperated and just finally ripped the paper up.
“It means nothing.” Said Taker.
“I know huh.” Said Sara.
“I was under pressure even us gifted ones.” Said Undertaker.
“See you can’t live life by numbers and that’s what an iq is.” Said Sara.
“You’re right especially after this.” Said Trish picking up Taker’s paper. “In all the years they give iq tests it doesn’t prove what a person can accomplish.” Said Trish.
“There ya go.” Said Sara. “Alright girls what counts is how you use your ability and how hard you try. Isn’t that right Taker or are we going too fast for you?” Asked Sara.
“Huh? No of course not.” Said Taker.
“Ok you convinced me.” Said Teresa.
“Me to maybe I can take the test over and do as bad as Taker.” Said Ambrosia.
“Don’t expect to do this badly unless you plan to go without sleep for weeks.” Said Trish.
“Well Sara you can post that test on the board but I want another test under normal conditions.” Said Taker.
“Good idea and the girls can take their mid terms under normal conditions.” Said Sara.
“Yeah.” Said Teresa.
“Please?” Asked Ambrosia.,
“Wonderful glad I thought of it. Miss Stratus do the honours?” Asked Taker.
“See me at 3.” Said Trish.
“Got to fly.” Said Taker. He left.
“Oh gotta fly. Oh really I gotta fly I’m late for my flying test.” Said Sara leaving.
“I be this time I’ll get a 95.” Said Ambrosia.
“And I’ll get a 96.” Said Teresa.
“Things are back to normal. Will you help me study?” Asked Ambrosia.
“Sure come on.” They left and Ellie was still doing lines on the blackboard.


Chapter 4
Ellie’s problem

Teresa was holding the tennis racket in the main room while Francine painted her picture.
“Perfect yes.” Said Francine. Teresa moved to rub the back of her neck.
“Francine how much longer is this going to take?”
“No, no, no Teresa don’t move.” Said Francine. “I’m not paint by the numbers.”
“I’m sorry Francine I been standing here for hours and I’m beat.” Said Teresa.
“If you don’t stay still I’ll paint you flat chested.” Said Francine. “Now get back.” While Francine worked on Teresa, Sara with Lee and Ellie came out of Sara’s room. Lee and Ellie were wearing curlers.
“I bet if you put your head’s together we can get the sci fi channel.” Said Sara.

*that last line I changed from channel 13 to sci fi.

“Oh, Francine you really caught the action.” Said Sara.
“Thanks Sara I call it the end.” Said Francine.
“And Teresa has a cute one.” Said Ellie. Ana came in the front door.
“Sara, Sara.”
“Yes Ana?”
“Undertaker has the list for the speakers on career day. Can you tune my guitar?”
“My dog has flees, flees, flees.” Said Sara.
“Thanks you can do anything.”
“This is impressive. Lee I see your sister is going to speak on her exciting career as a stewardess.” Said Sara.
“Thanks she can do anything. She has two first class boyfriends and another one in coach.” Said Lee taking the curlers out of her hair.
“And Ellie your father Theodore Long is a lawyer and your mother is one to right?” Asked Sara.
“Yeah she had to stay in Washington to defend some crooks.” Said Ellie.
“In or out of the government?” Asked Lee.
“Lee hurry up I gotta look good for daddy.” Said Ellie.
“What’s the rush career day isn’t until tomorrow.” Said Sara.
“Daddy’s coming in early to see me.” Said Ellie. Undertaker came in.
“Girls Mr Long.” Said Undertaker.
“Daddy!” Yelled Ellie going over to h
Chapter 11
A lesson learned

Francine and Teresa came into the main room from outside.
“Look Teresa I know you would borrow me your new hat, and your allowance at below prime rate but I can’t tell you.” Said Francine.
“I won’t breathe a word.” Said Teresa.
“On your mother’s life?” Asked Francine.
“She’s only 41.” Said Teresa.
“On your dog’s life.”
“Well ok sorry Tiger.” Said Teresa.
“I got you into the ‘group’.”
“Oh my god I knew that was the surprise!” Said Teresa.
“Mickey is coming over later on to tell you so you have to looked surprised.” Said Francine.
“Was it hard to get me in?” Asked Teresa.
“After I paid them 5000 it was easy.” Said Francine. Ellie popped up from her hiding spot.
“5000 that is the biggest raw deal I ever saw.”
“Ellie!” Yelled Francine.
“I was looking for my skate key.”
“Shoe skates don’t have a key.” Said Francine.
“That’s why I couldn’t find it.” Said Ellie.
“Ah Ellie you don’t mind if we talk do you?” Asked Teresa.
“No I don’t mind go ahead.”
“Alone.” Said Teresa.
“Ok I’ll leave. But I’m going to tell Tiger he’s a dead duck.”
“What is this about 5000 dollars?” Asked Teresa.
“I was kidding.”
“Aren’t they snobs?” Asked Teresa.
“No they are warm and caring like me.” Said Francine.
“Did you tell them I was square?”

*authors note: Square means bland, boring back in the 70's and early 80's guess that’s where Square Pegs came from, glad that show didn’t last that long.

“You can’t help the way you’re built.” Said Francine tapping Teresa on the butt.
“And that I’m a scholarship student?”
“Of course.”
“And I’m from Kansas City?”
“Are you crazy?”
“Ok.”
“We’re meeting in Mickey James’ room after dinner.” Said Francine.
“Ok.”
“And remember don’t be shocked.”
“Shocked about what?” Asked Teresa.
“Shhh.” Said Francine when she saw Jessica, Ana and Lee come into the room.
“Every time we see you lately Francine you say shhh.” Said Jessica.
“It’s like eavesdropping on a leaky tire.” Said Ana.
“Ever since you became a member of the group everything is a secret, let’s go.” Said Lee as she, Jessica and Ana left.
“Remember I got a book report due so we have to get back early.” Said Teresa.
“Ok.” Sara and Undertaker came in.
“See I would put the cd player right here in this corner.” Said Sara.
“What are you doing?” Asked Teresa.
“I’m looking for my husband for funds for a cd player for the common room.” Said Sara.
“Really?” Asked Francine. Taker scratched his chin.
“I can look into the art fund, call it music appreciation.” Said Taker.
“I would appreciate it.” Said Sara.
“But you have to play all kinds.”
“Yes.” Said Sara.
“I got a meeting with a parent.” Said Undertaker opening the door. Mickey James and Jillian Hall came in.
“Hi Undertaker.” Said Mickey James.
“Hi.” He left.
“Hi Sara can we lure you over to our dorm?” Asked Mickey James.
“Really.” Said Jillian Hall.
“We can use some young blood over there.” Said Mickey James.
“Really.” Said Jillian Hall.
“I thank you and my blood thanks you.” Said Sara leaving the room.
“Teresa I have one thing to say to you, you’re one of us.” Said Mickey James.
“I don’t believe it!” Yelled Teresa with fake enthusiasm.
“You told her.” Said Mickey. Francine shrugged. “It’s alright see you tonight.”
“Later.” Said Jillian as she and Mickey left.
“What did you mean before when you said not to be shocked?” Asked Teresa.
“This should give you a hint.” Francine took out lipstick.
“Lipstick doesn’t shock me.” Said Teresa.
“To an outsider it’s lipstick. To a member of the group.” Francine gave Teresa a joint that was in the container.
“Mari...” Francine put her hand on Teresa’s mouth and said:
“Shhh.” She took it off.

“Juana? Do you smoke pot?” Asked Teresa.
“No but they do and tonight we are them.” Said Francine.

That night Ellie and Lee came into the main room.
“Sara Francine and Teresa are getting ready to go to Mickey James’ room better known as snob city.” Said Ellie.
“Yeah they said discuss the cd player without them.” Said Lee.
“No problem I’ll show them in the morning.” Said Sara. They went over the instructions to the cd player.
“Does it play music?” Asked Jessica.
“I have no idea.” Said Sara. Francine and Teresa came downstairs.
“We’re checking out Sara.” Said Francine.
“We’ll be back before curfew.” Said Teresa.
“Toodles.” Said Sara. They left.
“I wonder what it’s like to be in the group?” Asked Lee.
“Like a snooty country club.” Ellie made fun of them and the others laughed.
“It’s not fair to make fun of people Ellie.” Said Sara. Ambrosia came downstairs.
“I’m checking out I have a date with Roger.” Said Ambrosia.
“You don’t look forward to it.” Said Sara.
“I am excited.”
“What’s wrong.” Said Sara.
“Nothing.” Said Ambrosia.
“My sources tell me that Francine couldn’t get Ambrosia into the group.” Said Ellie.
“Who are your sources?” Asked Sara.
“Lefty and righty.” Said Ellie pointing to her ears.
“Ambrosia some people only feel important when they are leaving people out. When I was a kid girls had poodles and all I had was a mutt they wouldn’t talk to me.”
“They wouldn’t let you in?” Asked Ambrosia.
“They let my doggy in, no pure bread poodle for the next 3 years.” Said Sara.
“I see what you mean it’s stupid.” Said Ambrosia.
“Come on let’s put a flower in your hair.” Sara and Ambrosia went to the kitchen.
“Lee how about you and me starting our own exclusive clique?” Asked Ellie.
“You and me? You call that exclusive?” Asked Lee.
“We will be as soon as I find out the secret stuff the girls do.” Said Ellie.
“How?” Asked Lee.
“It’s as easy as 1.” Ellie knocked. “2.” She knocked again. “3.” She knocked again.
“What’s that?” Asked Lee.
“Secret knock.”
“It’s not a secret anymore.” Said Lee.

The door knocked and Mickey James went to answer it.
“Hi.” Said Francine.
“Hehehehehehe.” Said Mickey James.
“You certainly are.” Said Francine. They came in shutting the door behind them. Mickey sat on the floor.
“Do you do grass?” Asked Mickey.
“No but I know it’s not mowing the lawn.” Said Teresa.
“Francine you have that joint I gave you?” Asked Mickey.
“Sure right here.” Francine took it out of her purse.
“I see a roach.” Said Jillian.
“Where I hate bugs.” Said Francine jumping back.
“A roach is what’s left of a joint dummy.” Said Mickey James.
“Let’s light the bong.” Said Jillian.
“I don’t know if I want to smoke Mickey.” Said Teresa. The door knocked.
“That must be Bitsy.” Said Mickey. They answered and Ellie came in.
“Oh hey you’re not bitsy.” Said Mickey.
“I’m not snitsy or poopsy either.” Said Ellie.
“Ellie.” Said Francine.
“What are you doing here?” Asked Teresa.
“Sara wants to know what kind of cd’s to play we’re all taking a vote.” Said Ellie.
“That could have waited.” Said Francine.
“I got a cd player tell Sara it’s a steal at 175.” Said Mickey.
“You said your father gave you that.” Said Francine.
“What’s money between friends?” Asked Mickey.
“Does that mean I’m in?” Asked Ellie.
“No it means I need the cash.” Said Mickey. Ellie picked up a bong.
“Isn’t this one of them bong things I see at the record store?” Asked Ellie.
“Yes.” Said Mickey.
“What do you hit it with to make it bong?” Asked Ellie.
“She’s a riot, you don’t hit it, it hits you.” Said Mickey.
“You put jelly beans in it.” Said Francine.
“Lets show her what it really does.” Said Mickey using her lighter. Francine blew it out.
“She’s too young.”
“Too burn jelly beans?” Asked Ellie.
“good bye Ellie.”
“I’m out before I’m in.” Francine kicked her out. “Mickey what’s wrong with you? You don’t offer a kid Ellie’s age pot.” Said Francine.
“Hey I was just kidding. Teresa you’re going to love grass.” Said Mickey. “You get these clear fully formed uh.”
“Thoughts?” Offered Francine.
“Yeah the ideas seem to.”
“Flow?” Asked Francine.
“Pot makes you more creative.” Said Jillian. Mickey toked.
“Not bad but when I sell my cd player I’m going to get a lid of the Hawaiian stuff.” Said Mickey. “Here.” She held it out to Francine.
“I’ll wait till you get the good stuff I never go second class.” Said Francine.
“You’re chicken.” Said Mickey.
“I’m not chicken. I don’t like laughing at stupid jokes, not finishing a thought and look at her.” Said Francine. Another girl waved she was so spacy. “She lost the power of speech.” Said Francine. “I’m gonna pass, let’s go Teresa.” Teresa was about to get up.
“You don’t have to go anywhere you’re not Francie’s puppet.” Said Jillian.
“Yeah we invited you cause of you not cause you’re friends with Francine.” Said Mickey.
“You sneak Mickey flattering Teresa so she’ll smoke with you.” Said Francine.
“What do you mean flattering me? You think I’m your puppet?” Asked Teresa.
“I didn’t mean that.” Said Francine.
“Yes she did.” Said Mickey. “You got a mind of your own.” Said Mickey.
“I sure do.”
“You don’t have to listen to Francine. Francine you never know what you’ll be missing.” Said Mickey. “Here.” She said to Teresa holding out the joint. “It’s no big deal.” Said Mickey. Teresa took it.
“You’re right one time isn’t going to kill me.” Teresa had some tokes and Francine watched in disgust.

The next morning Ambrosia came into the main room.
“Sara, Teresa said she’s feeling better she’ll be down in a minute.”
“Ok instructions Ana.” Said Sara.
“Ok.” Ana started reading German.
“I wish this cd player spoke English.” Said Sara. Sara was by the speaker and Ana spoke German.
“Louder knob.” Said Ana turning it up. It was heavy metal. Sara’s eyes went cross eyed.
“Works perfect.” Said Ana.
“Now my head doesn’t.” Said Sara.
“How come Mickey sold it so cheap?” Asked Jessica.
“I don’t know but if she didn’t give me a note from her mother I wouldn’t have bought it. Hope it’s not forged.” Said Sara.
“We only do that with report cards.” Said Jessica. Francine and Teresa were coming down the stairs.
“Teresa you ok?”
“Yeah Francine, I finished my book report on Moby Dick in 30 minutes.” Said Teresa.
“20 pages in 30 minutes?” Asked Francine.
“It’s brilliant. Hey Sara.” Said Teresa.
“Hey how you feeling?” Asked Sara.
“Brilliant.” Said Francine rolling her eyes.
“You know Moby Dick?” Asked Teresa.
“Intimately.” Said Sara. “A whale of a fellow.”
“I’m really proud of this can you give me your opinion?” Asked Teresa. Sara read the weirdest book report she ever read out loud. After she was done reading some she said:
“Teresa what have you been smoking?” Asked Sara. Teresa looked at Francine.
“I told you she would get a kick out of your joke.” Said Francine.
“Glad you enjoyed it I’m going to the library to write the real one.” Said Teresa. Lee and Ellie came in after the other girls decided to go and get something to eat and Francine and Teresa went to the library.
“Sara guess what we got.” Said Ellie opening the bag she was carrying.
“Bong, bong, bong.” Said Lee as Ellie put them on the table. “One for me, one for Lee and one for you.” Said Ellie. Sara picked one of them up.
“We’re a three bong family.” Said Lee.
“Do you know what these are used for?” Asked Sara.
“Jellybeans.” Said Ellie.
“I’m going to put root beer in mine it comes with a built in straw.” Said Lee.
“Why did you buy this?” Asked Sara.
“If we couldn’t be in the group we might as well have the stuff they have.” Said Ellie.
“You mean the group has them?” Asked Sara.
“Well I saw one in Mickey’s room.” Said Ellie.
“Girls these are used for smoking Marijuana.” Said Sara.
“Marijuana?” Asked Ellie.
“I could ring their necks how can they sell this to kids?”
“We didn’t know what it was for.” Said Ellie.
“No but the group did not a word about this till we talk to Taker.” Said Sara.
“There is going to be trouble.” Said Ellie.
“Make that a double.” Said Lee.

Later on in one of the bedrooms Undertaker was inspecting their stuff.
“You’re invading their privacy.” Said Sara.
“Smoking pot is illegal they have no privacy.” Said Undertaker.
“They didn’t do anything wrong.” Said Sara.
“Yeah that’s right.” Said Ambrosia, Lee and Ellie together.
“Ellie you’re next.” Said Undertaker.
“One hot plate.” Said Sara putting it in Ellie’s box.
“Which violates the insurance policy.” Said Undertaker.
“One skillet.” Said Sara.
“Which violates the rules on no cooking in rooms.” Said Undertaker.
“8 cans of Jalapeno bean dip which violates your stomach.” Said Sara.
“Why?” Asked Undertaker.
“I like to entertain.” Said Ellie. Francine and Teresa came in.
“Hi.” Said Teresa.
“What’s going on?” Asked Francine.
“We’re checking everything.” Said Undertaker.
“For what?” Asked Francine.
“Dope.” Said Undertaker. “Mickey and her room mates have been expelled.” Said Undertaker.
“Heartbreaking.” Said Sara.
“Francine dump your purse.” Said Undertaker.
“You don’t suspect me?” Asked Francine.
“I don’t play favourites I suspect everyone.” Said Undertaker. Francine dumped everything on to the table. Undertaker picked up the lipstick.
“Hiding place? What do you keep in here?” Asked Undertaker opening it.
“Mad money.” Said Francine.
“Empty.” Said Undertaker.
“Guess it got angry and left.” Said Ellie.
“Girls I’m glad you passed the inspection, I hope I don’t have to expel anyone anymore.” Said Undertaker. He left.
“What should we do with the bongs?” Asked Lee.
“I’ll take care of those Lee. I’m going back to the record shop show them a new way how to return merchandise.” Said Sara. “And it’s going to be painful.” They left and Francine and Teresa were left.
“That was a close call what made you decide to get rid of that joint?” Asked Teresa.
“Watching you last night.”
“Thank you for trying to get me out of there I can’t believe I was dumb enough to smoke pot.” Said Teresa.
“And thank you for the covering of the lipstick.” Said Francine. Sara, Lee and Ellie came in.
“It’s a sure tough way for the girls to learn a lesson.” Said Sara. “Getting kicked out of school.”
“I never saw you look sad before.” Said Ellie.
“I’m mad, I’m damn mad. Forgive me. “ Said Sara. “To think they threw away their futures for some dope.” Said Sara. “And if I ever catch you girls....” Said Sara.
“You won’t.” Said Francine.
“Right.” Said Teresa.
“And make sure your lipsticks have lipstick.” Said Sara.
“Yes.” Said Francine.
“What do we do with all these jelly beans?” Asked Ellie.
“We’ll find a place.” Said Lee getting some out of the bag.
“Hand some over.” Said Francine. Everything was back to normal.

Chapter 12
Shelly

A new year at Eastland School means new opportunities and new adventures. Sara was now the school dietician and the Undertaker was fired. Lee was in the diningroom grabbing a doughnut when Ellie came in.
“Ellie!”
“Lee!” The two girls hugged. “Is this where we get our dorm assignments?” Asked Ellie.
“I guess so, how was camp?” Ellie took out a pair of boy’s shorts.
“This ought to answer that question.”
“A boys bathing suit?”
“I was on a panty raiddddddddd.” Said Ellie.
“Who did you take them off of?” Asked Lee.
“Nobody it would spoil the fun.” Said Ellie.
“You still have a lot to learn.” Francine came in.
“Ellie! Lee!” She hugged them.
“Only one suitcase?” Asked Lee.
“This is my make up, my wardrobe is coming later.” Said Francine.
“Did you hear about Sara’s new job? She got promoted to school dietician?” Asked Lee.
“Wow what an honour running the school barfeteria.” Said Ellie. The girls turned behind them when they saw Sara chasing Davey.
“Davey! Davey come back here!” Yelled Sara trying to chase him. He was holding a live lobster. “You have to give the cook back his lobster.”
“Nobody is going to boil Claude he’s too cute to die.” Said Davey.
“Beady little eyes?” Asked Sara.
“You just insulted him. I would cover your ears Claude but I don’t know where they are.” Said Davey.
“Francine! Lee! Ellie!” Yelled Sara giving her girls a hug.
“Wow look at you.” Said Francine.
“And why are you here Davey?” Asked Ellie.
“Davey here has a couple of days off in the city so my boyfriend came out to visit me.” Said Sara.
“Cool it Sara else Ellie might get the wrong idea. I want her to know I’m available.” Said Davey.
“Oh.” Said Sara.
“You want to help me feed Claude?” Asked Davey.
“Sure ok.” Said Ellie reluctantly following Davey.
“What has gotten into Davey?” Asked Francine.
“You had biology figure it out.” Said Sara. They heard a motorcycle approaching.
“What is going on out there?” Asked Sara looking out the window. “Sounds like the wild bunch.” A person wearing a red shirt, jean jacket and jeans with a helmet came in.
“Is this where I’m supposed to be?” Asked the person.
“Delivery boys deliver in the back.” Said Francine.
“Give me a break is this where I check in?” It was a girl as she took off her helmet.
“I don’t believe this.” Said Francine.
“You don’t? I was going to ask him to the fall dance.” Said Lee. The girl made a move to hit Lee. “Ooh.” Said Lee. Sara came up to them.
“Hi I’m Sara the new dietician you must be Shelly the new student.”
“How did you know?” Asked Shelly.
“Nobody parked a motorcycle in the flowerbed before.”
“I thought they were weeds.” Said Shelly.
“She’s wearing flared jeans.” Said Francine.
“In a minute you’ll be wearing flared teeth.” Warned Shelly.
“Don’t punch a total stranger introduce yourselves first.” Said Sara.
“I’m Lee.” Said Lee. “I have flared jeans, all of my clothes are flared.” She laughed and Shelly wasn’t amused.
“Francine.” Said Sara nodding.
“Francine McMahon.” She shook Shelly’s hand.
“Gloria Vanderbilt.” Said Shelly.
“You’re dirty.” Said Francine wiping off her hand.
“Go check your dorm assignments.” Said Sara.

*Ok I have to change this next part else it wouldn’t make any sense. Anyone who watched the second season, first episode would know what I mean.

Francine went to go look.
“Shelly Austin? Is she from Texas?” Asked Francine.
“Yeah so what about it?” Asked Shelly coming up behind her.
“I’m stuck with a twanger?” Asked Francine.
“You say that again you’ll get a twanger in the chops.” Said Shelly holding her fist in Francine’s face.
“Would you girls care for a bowl of meow mix?” Asked Sara.
“Lee show Shelly where to park her motorcycle.” Said Sara.
“Why don’t I park it on Francine’s face?” Asked Shelly.
“She’s a breath of fresh air isn’t she?” Asked Lee following Shelly out.
“This has to be an unlikely day for Geminis for me to be stuck with Sheryl Bug.”
“Luck had nothing to do with it. I put you two together.” Said Sara.
“What? I thought you were my friend.” Said Francine.
“Shelly’s very smart she passed her entrance exam.” Said Sara.
“It’s a breeze I got a 96.” Said Francine.
“Shelly got a 98. She was doing really well in public school till her folks split up a couple of years ago.” Said Sara. “Her mother had to work double shifts and Shelly got into trouble.” Said Sara. Then noticing Francine’s look. “Not that kind of trouble. Truancy she was late for everything. I put you to together cause you have your act together and I thought you could help.”
“Sara I’m not a miracle worker.”
“Francine you’re bright, have a good head on her shoulders I think you can help.” Said Sara.
“Ok I’ll try.” Said Francine.

Later on Shelly followed Sara into the bedroom.
“Did you want me to put some electrical tape on those daisies?” Asked Shelly.
“They were marigolds and it’s ok.” Said Sara.
“Right Marigolds what do I know about flowers? In my neighbourhood the state flower is asphalt.” Said Shelly. “Not a bad place you got.”
“Thanks.”
“Better then Francine.”
“It’s good to know new people that’s what school is about.” Said Sara.
“She’s not real, she’s a barbie doll who says I love you to herself.” Said Shelly.
“Don’t judge Francine.” Said Sara. Francine came in.
“Hi am I interrupting?” Asked Francine.
“No come in, come in.” Said Sara. “I have to check the menu and you two roomies want to talk.” Said Sara.
“I hope you are going to say I’m sure we’ll make great room mates.” Said Francine with a phony smile.
“Sara been working on you?” Asked Shelly.
“Well she did remind me of school spirit.” Said Francine.
“What slugging builds character?”
“No be a good friend.” Said Francine.
“Oh.” Said Shelly.
“Ok you’re not my idea of the perfect room mate that would be Prince Henry.” Said Francine.
“You don’t win popularity contests with me either said Shelly.
“I see we agree on something.” Said Francine.
“Yeah I’m wearing last years jeans.” Said Shelly.
“I apologize sometimes I pay attention too much to fashion.” Said Francine.
“And me not enough.” Said Shelly.
“You want to try?” Asked Francine.
“It’s not going to kill me sides my jeans are ripped.” Said Shelly.
“What’s the difference my Jord Ashes are your Jord Ashes.” Said Francine.
“You don’t mind me taking them in?” Asked Shelly Francine gave her a look for that remark. Ellie and Davey came in.
“Sara and I bunk here.” Said Davey. He looked at Shelly. “You have to see the manager this room is taken.” Said Davey.
“Francine I haven’t met your new room mate.” Said Ellie.
“Let me keep you up to date, Ellie new room mate, new room mate Ellie bye bye.” Said Davey.
“You leaving us girls can talk?” Asked Ellie walking Davey to the door.
“How that happen?” Asked Davey. Ellie shook his hand.
“It’s been fun.”
“You touched my hand I’m not going to wash it.” Said Davey.
“That’s sweet.” Said Ellie.
“No biggie I wasn’t going to wash it anyway. Later baby.” Said Davey. He left. Ellie walked over to Shelly and Francine.
“Hi I’m Ellie.” Said Ellie.
“Shelly. Sorry for ruining things with you and your boyfriend.” Said Shelly.
“Puhleeze I’m only helping Davey through his delusions of maturity.” Said Ellie.
“What do you do for men around here?” Asked Shelly. Lee came in.
“Just in time for the good stuff. Francine tell her about Bates, preppy heaven.” Said Lee.
“It’s our sister school.” Said Francine.
“I mean men.” Said Shelly.
“I’m dating a senior who is 19.” Said Francine.
“He’s slow but cute.” Said Lee.
“We’ll make the perfect room mate I’ll take the men you have the little brothers.” Said Shelly.
“Oooooo.” Said Lee.
“Not to be frank but men would rather date a woman with a rolls royce.” Said Francine.
“You are a hood ornament.” Said Shelly.
“This is going to be good.” Said Ellie.
“But guys don’t dig angels dipped in chrome.” Said Shelly.
“Did I lie?” Asked Ellie.
“If we travelled in the same circles I can show you which of us a real man would go for.” Said Francine.
“You can show her at the chug a lug bar on the highway.” Said Ellie.
“Perfect.” Said Shelly.
“Thanks Ellie.” Said Francine giving her a stern look.
“Don’t mention it.” Said Ellie.
“I go in a minute but we can’t go in we’re under age.” Said Francine. Shelly showed fake id.
“I can do one for you all I need is a picture.”
“Easy for you but I don’t know what to use. I’m wearing sizzling pink lip quencher here. Wait this one my tan, wait how about this one.” Said Francine going through her pictures in her purse.
“Who cares!” Yelled Shelly
“Oh.” Said Francine.
“Is it a deal?” Asked Shelly.
“Deal.” Said Francine and they shook on it. Sara came in.
“You rooming together?”
“They’ll do all kinds of things together.” Said Ellie.
“Great I’m willing to bet they’ll be double dating.” Said Sara.
“Bet, bet.” Said Lee.

Later on Francine, Shelly, Lee and Ellie came into the diningroom.
“We’ll go after dinner.” Said Shelly.
“Ok.” Said Francine.
“We’ll be ready.” Said Lee.
“You want to explain that?” Asked Francine.
“We is the plural pronoun first, we as in we are going with you as in you.” Said Ellie.
“We can’t pass you two for 18.” Said Francine.
“We’ll spy through the window.” Said Ellie.
“Like R rated television.” Said Lee.
“No.” Said Francine.
“Ok you leave me you leave my mouth.” Said Ellie.
“We better take them.” Said Francine.
“Would she squeal?” Asked Shelly.
“Here Ellie is known as speak up America.” Said Francine.
“Ok by me.” Said Shelly.
“We have no transportation.” Said Francine.
“I saw the van outside.” Said Shelly.
“The cafeteria van? The keys are never in it.” Said Francine.
“Who needs a key? Hot wire.” Said Shelly.
“The van has a heater.” Said Francine.
“I’m talking about touching wires.” Said Shelly.
“Steal?” Asked Francine.
“Wow this is going to be some kind of semester.” Said Ellie.

After supper they went to the bar. Francine was wearing her style jeans, light blue blouse and a brown cover jacket. Shelly was wearing a dark blue blouse, vest and heels.
“I can’t walk in heels.” Said Shelly.
“Who told you to wear them with jeans? So tacky.” Said Francine.
“Cute guys send out the leftovers.” Said Lee. Francine and Shelly argued over who was going in first. Then they went in.
“Id.” Said Mark Henry the body guard.
“You want them?” Asked Shelly.
“If you want to come inside.”
“Here is mine?” Asked Shelly passing by it fast. Mark Henry grabbed it away from her.
“Didn’t take speed reading. Nice tan.”
“Coconut oil.” Said Francine. They went to the bar.
“2 brews.” Said Shelly.
“One brew I’ll have a beer.” Said Francine. The bar tender looked at her like she was nuts.
“I’m Dave Batista.” Said the man beside them.
“I’m Francine.”
“I’m Shelly.”
“Who said the beautiful ones don’t travel in pairs?” Asked Batista.

At the school Sara went to her room.
“Hey Davey why the long face?”
“I been here 6 hours and I spent 6 minutes with Ellie.”
“I told you that she would be busy.”
“They’re not here.” Said Davey.
“What’s going on?”
“Ellie said you knew.”
“I’ll tell you after I hear it.”
“I was with Claude when I heard them talking about going out for the night they took the van without a key.”
“Hot wiring?”
“You saw it on the Today Show to huh?” Asked Davey.
“They wouldn’t.” Said Sara. Looking out the window she said: “It’s gone!”
“60 seconds take a few minutes of swearing.” Said Davey.
“Where did they go?” Asked Sara.
“The thingamajig? The Chug a bug?” Asked Davey.
“Chug a lug.” Said Sara.
“Right.”
“Stay here and watching something happy on tv.” Said Sara. She left.

“So what college you go to?” Asked Batista.
“Away.” Said Francine.”
“Here.” Said Shelly at the same time.
“Let me guess.” He looked at Shelly. “You’re easy.”
“Ay.” Said Shelly.
“Sara Lawrence right?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re in Secretarial school.”
“Give me a break.”
“Beauty college?” Asked Batista.
“Not the way to pick up a guy.” Said Shelly.
“Hey jerk you ever hear of McMahon textiles?”
“Working girl no wonder you’re touchy.” Said Batista.
“Hey I own it.” Said Francine.

“Looks like trouble.” Said Lee.
“Let’s go in.” Said Ellie.
“We can’t.” Said Lee.
“We’ll tell them we are small avon ladies.” Said Ellie. They went in.
“Hey!” Yelled Mark Henry.
“What did you say to my friend?” Yelled Ellie.
“Get out of here.” Said Francine.
“Who are they?” Asked Batista.
“My little sisters.” Said Francine. Sara came in.
“Girls!”
“Sara!” Yelled Lee.
“What is going on here?” Asked Lee.
“Group sleep walking.” Offered Ellie.
“Francine I want an explanation.” Said Sara.
“Letting off steam.” Said Francine.
“And now comes miller time.” Said Ellie.
“Officer Batista police.” Said Dave.
“Police?” Asked Francine.
“What blew our cover?” Asked Shelly.
“Your shoes.” Said Francine.
“Don’t blame her I was on the case when you walked in with fake id’s.” Said Batista.
“Officer can I talk to you?” Asked Sara. “These girls are from Eastland and you know what highschool kids can do.”
“They need a lesson.” Said Batista.
“You can’t say book em and forget it.”
“Hawaii 5-0.” Said Batista.
“Ok so they sipped beer.”
“That’s a crime.” Said Batista.
“Had fake id.” Said Sara.
“Crime.”
“Its no crime to sneak away from school. But stealing the van is a crime.” Sara stopped.
“They stole a van?”
“Borrowed.” Said Sara.
“Where is the van?”
“I’m sure it’s not it.” Said Francine. When they heard a collision.
“We parked it carefully outside.” Said Shelly.
“That is no street it’s an alley.” Said Batista. “I’m hauling you in.”
“You can’t.” Said Sara.
“Leave them alone.” Said Lee grabbing his arm.
“Creep.” Said Ellie pouring beer on his head.
“I’m taking you all in.” Said Batista making arrests.


Chapter 13
Wisdom of Sara

Francine was looking out the jail house door hoping for signs of life in the halls. Then she went over to Shelly who was laying on the top bunk in the cell.
“This is all your fault you got us into this.” Said Francine.
“Blow it out your Gucci Bag.” Said Shelly. “Sit down and cool it, it’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? We are locked up like common criminals and you say it’s no big deal? My life is ruined they’ll never let me set foot in Martha’s Vineyard again.”
“My mom is going to have a heart attack, a triple by pass, she’ll be in intensive care for years.” Said Lee.
“My parents will disown me. ‘That little black kid no she ain’t ours’.” Said Ellie.
“I got to get out of here.” Said Francine. “Let me out!” She went to the door.
“We only been in here 45 minutes.” Said Lee. The door opened and Matron Mae Young threw in a tough looking woman.
“Ok Victoria home sweet home.” The woman came in looked at the girls and tried to hold back a giggle.
“Hi.” Said Francine.
“What are you in here for?” Asked Lee.
“What’s it to you?” Asked Victoria.
“Nothing, nothing just trying to make friendly.” Said Lee sounding scared.
“If you gotta know robbery and assault.”
“You hit somebody?” Asked Ellie. Victoria cracked her knuckles.
“Yeah.” Said Victoria. “Hey I like that watch.” She said going over to Francine.
“What watch?” Francine tried to hide it but Victoria grabbed it. Shelly went over to her.
“Give it back.” Said Shelly.
“You talking to me little girl?” Asked Victoria.
“Yeah chicken legs and if you don’t give it back you’ll be wearing your face in the back of your head.” Said Shelly.

*I changed blimp to chicken legs cause Victoria isn’t big.

“And you’ll do it huh?”
“What do you want me to do first your lips or your nose?” Shelly held up her fist. Victoria gave the watch back.
“This is junk.”
“Junk? It cost 500 dollars and it came from Tiffany’s.” Said Francine. Shelly gave her a ‘you’re stupid’ look.
“You’re brilliant Francine just brilliant.” Said Lee.
“500 bucks huh?” Victoria went over to Francine again.
“You touch it you’ll be picking up your teeth with a broom.” Said Shelly. Victoria backed away.
“Shelly, thanks.” Said Francine.
“Knock it off ok?” Shelly went up to the bunk again. The door opened and Sara was let in.
“Ok girls come on as they say in prison circles you’re sprung.” Said Sara. They left and Sara was backed by Victoria. “I think you’re supposed to stay.” Said Sara leaving as Victoria shrugged.
“How did you get us out?” Asked Francine.
“The new headmaster plays golf with a judge.” Said Sara. 3 of the girls and Sara went up on ahead and Ellie lagged behind.
“Is the door locked?”
“Yes.” Said Mae Young.
“Is it locked real good?”
“Yes.” Ellie went to the door and yelled at Victoria.
“So long turkey!” As Victoria tried to reach through the bars Ellie ran.

As they made their way to the front of the cop shop Francine said:
“Thanks for getting us out Sara.”
“We really appreciate it.” Said Lee.
“Hold it sit down I have a few things to say.” Said Sara. They sat down. “The judge put you on probation for 6 months.”
“That’s for criminals.” Said Ellie.
“Exactly.” Said Sara. “And you’re expelled.” Said Sara.
“Expelled?” Asked Francine.
“My mother is a dead woman she won’t live through her first by pass.” Said Lee.
“This is our first offence can’t we appeal?” Asked Francine.
“I did a lot of appealing. There is a way but I don’t know if you’ll agree.” Said Sara.
“Try us.” Said Lee.
“First I have to take full responsibility for that I had to promise the headmaster.” Said Sara.
“That’s fine you are a wonderful friend.” Said Ellie.
“Who can save your hides.” Said Sara.
“What are friends for?” Asked Ellie.
“Two you wouldn’t be in the dorm anymore you have to live across the hall where I can keep my eye on you.” Said Sara.
“Above the kitchen?” Asked Francine.
“At least you would be the first to know what the soup of the day is.” Said Sara.
“We’re not free we’re just changing jails.” Said Shelly.
“I told you it wouldn’t be laughs. Three you’ll have to work in the kitchen until the van is paid off.” Said Sara.
“My mother will pay.” Said Francine.
“Wrong, I spoke to her. To all your mother’s.” Said Sara.
“I guess I’m up for adoption.” Said Ellie.
“We’ll do whatever you say Sara right?” Asked Francine.
“Right.” Said Lee.
“Right.” Said Ellie.
“Don’t look at me you’re a trio not a quartet.” Said Shelly.
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself do you?” Asked Francine standing up to Shelly.
“You got it Britney.” Said Shelly.

*ok Farrah Fawcett became Britney Spears hehe.

“I didn’t want to be a dishwasher either it wasn’t part of my deal.” Said Shelly.
“Nor was faking id’s and hot wiring cars.” Said Sara. Shelly sighed.
“Nobody’s forcing you to do this you can go home right now.” Said Sara.
“My bike is busted.” Said Shelly.
“We’ll pay for a bus ticket.” Said Francine.
“As a matter of fact I think I’ll stay.” Said Shelly.
“Alright then you all agree to the conditions?” They agreed and Sara took them home.

Back at the school JR the cook was sitting at a table in the diningroom.
“This way gang.”
“Kitchen is closed it’s way past the twinkie curfew.” Said JR.
“Good news JR you don’t have to look for help anymore. Here are the girls.” Said Sara.
“Welcome and I always say a woman’s place is in the kitchen.” Said JR.
“Are main specialty is chauvinist pig.” Said Lee.
“Sara I don’t know how to slice onions or take out the garbage.” Said Francine.
“It’s not so hard, with onions you cry a little with garbage you die a little.” Said Sara.
“How are we supposed to do school work and work?” Asked Shelly.
“Or sleep if I’m dreaming about Sean Paul or J Lo then I need 9.” Said Ellie.
“That reminds me follow me and I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping. Thanks JR.” Said Sara taking the girls away.

She showed them the full storage closet.
“Here you are.” Said Sara.
“You are kidding aren’t you?” Asked Francine.
“Yeah humour to brighten things.” Said Lee.
“You’re always good for a laugh.” Said Ellie.
“She’s not laughing.” Said Lee.
“I’m serious.” Said Sara.
“It’s a mess.” Said Shelly.
“You can clean it up and move furniture but tonight I think you should use sleeping bags.” Said Sara.
“I can’t live like this I haven’t had the advantages of growing up poor.” Said Francine.
“And the bathroom is in between us we’ll use a take a number system.” Said Sara.
“Sara can I say something?” Asked Ellie.
“What?”
“I want to be bussed to a better room.” Said Ellie.
“Me to.” Said Lee.
“I can’t sleep here.” Said Francine.
“Think of it as a permanent pyjama party.” Said Sara. “You don’t have to stay here you do have a choice.”
“We do?” Asked Shelly.
“You can be expelled.” Said Sara.
“We love it here.” Said Lee.
“Its looking good.” Said Ellie.
“It stinks.” Said Shelly.
“Go home bye bye.” Said Sara. “And let me remind you I hate sharing my bathroom and I went out on a limb for you girls.” Said Sara.
“We know thanks.” Said Lee.
“Ok now look like it or not if you want to stay here you have to work for it. And you’ll have to do it yourself don’t expect anymore help from me.” Sara left.
“Thanks since you been here we been thrown in jail, assigned to hard labour, put on probation and stuck in this room.” Said Francine.
“Yeah we didn’t need this.” Said Lee.
“Yeah.” Agreed Ellie.
“Just bug off.” Said Shelly.
“You bug off.” Said Ellie and the three girls argued back and forth with Shelly.

In the hall Sara put her ear to the door then stood in the middle of the hall.
“God bless our home.”

*for some odd reason when doing this fol dvd they decided not to put in this best part of these two episodes the famous paint room scene I remember the scene but can’t remember what was said so I’ll skip ahead.

The room was done and the girls after they worked in the kitchen they went to it. Lee laid on the bottom bunk that she shared with Ellie.
“If god wanted me to have dish pan hands he would have gave me a hose.” Said Lee.
“Every bone in my body hurts, my arms, my legs, my back my nose.” Said Francine.
“You’re nose hurts?” Asked Shelly.
“I feel asleep in Algebra and it hit the desk.” Said Francine.
“You think you got troubles I fell asleep in gym and they used me as first base.” Said Ellie from the top bunk.
“I hate this room soon as I get my bike fixed I’m going.” Said Shelly.
“Where would you go?” Asked Lee.
“New York and to my boyfriend.” Said Shelly.
“Everyone has a boyfriend.” Said Francine.
“My mother didn’t want us to get serious so she sends me to San Quentin.” Said Shelly.
“That’s a cold mama.” Said Ellie.
“She doesn’t trust guys but we love eachother. Matt and me.” Said Shelly.
“How long you been going out?” Asked Francine.
“3 and a half weeks.” Said Shelly.
“A lifetime.” Said Francine.
“Matt is great and he’s older.” Said Shelly.
“Beautiful.” Said Lee.
“You’re sensitive and not so tough.” Said Francine.
“I’m not sensitive.” Said Shelly.
“What is your problem?” Asked Francine.
“Nothing mainly you and your drugstore side of the room. And keep your shoes away from my bed else I’ll glue them together.” Said Shelly.
“Ok what’s going on?” Asked Sara as she came in.
“Can you tell Shannon Doghtery here to keep her stuff away from me?” Asked Shelly.
“It’s not easy to sleep next to Mr goodwrench.” Said Francine.
“Work it out and I mean it.” Said Sara. She left.

The next day the girls were serving food when Ana and another girl came in. The girl insulted Shelly and Shelly insulted her right back.
“Serve the food without the remarks.” Said Sara.
‘She started it.” Said Shelly.
“Shhh.” Said Sara.
“Francine I can’t stand to see this it’s anti woman.” Said Ana.
“It’s anti human look at my fingers.” Said Francine.
“That’s a blister.” Said Ana.
“I never seen one before.” Said Francine.
“Hang in there.” Said Ana.
“String beans Ana?” Asked Ellie.
“I guess. How you holding up?” Asked Ana.
“It’s always been rough for my people first Miss Jane Pittman now me.” Said Ellie. Sara came in.
“Ok Ellie and Lee you can handle the rest of the line. Shelly, Francine clean up the tables.”
“You ok Ellie?” Asked Lee.
“Everything is killing me but am I unhappy yeah?” Asked Ellie. Shelly was treated like crap by the snob. Ana said:
“Lay off.” Then the girl insulted Shelly’s mother and Shelly said:
“You no good....” Francine stopped her from doing something physical.
“Shelly in a school like this where we have dignity this is how we deal with things.” Francine threw a half eaten cream pie into the girls face and everyone laughed. Sara came in and laughed and then stopped.

Later on Shelly was packing her bag when Francine came into the room.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m getting out of here.” Said Shelly.
“Don’t let her bug you.”
“That was just the clincher everything bugs me.”
“You’re bike is still broken.”
“I got a thumb.”
“I thought we were a team?” Asked Francine.
“I can take care of myself.” Said Shelly.
“I’m trying to be nice.”
“I don’t need it.” Said Shelly. Sara came in.
“Tomorrow I like.... am I interrupting anything?” Asked Sara.
“Yeah my departure.” Said Shelly.
“I thought you were getting used to things.” Said Sara.
“Nothing personal I just don’t like it here.” Said Shelly.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Why would you care?”
“Cause I do and your mother had a rough working in a job she hates to put you here.”
“You making me feel guilty?”
“Is it working?”
“If I stay it won’t be because of you.”
“Of course not.” Said Sara.
“It will be out of respect for my mother cause I think she’s special.” Said Shelly.
“I know.” Said Sara.
“I gotta do a lot of thinking.”
“I know.”
“Ok I’ll stay for now.” Said Shelly.
“I like a girl who can make up her own mind.” Said Sara. Ellie and Lee came in.
“What’s going on?” Asked Ellie.
“What are you doing Shelly?” Asked Lee.
“The bad news is she was thinking of leaving, the good news is she’s staying. Or is that the bad news?” Asked Francine. Shelly chucked a shirt at her. They helped Shelly to unpack.

Chapter 14
Shelly’s invite

Shelly, Ellie and Lee were playing scrabble and Sara was watching them.
“I can’t do anything with these lousy letters.” Said Shelly.
“I think I see something.” Said Sara.
“Sara please don’t kibbitz if you want to play sit down.” Said Shelly.
“Competition gives me a rash.” Said Sara. Francine came in with a guy.
“Hi everyone, don’t get up.” She said. “Sara this is my friend Gregory Helms who transferred to Bates. Gregory this is Sara, friend, mother and slave driver.” Said Francine.
“Hi.” Said Gregory.
“And this is Lee.”
“Hi.” Said Lee.
“Ellie.”
“Hey.” Said Ellie.
“And Shelly.”
“Hi. You wanna word here is a word.” Said Shelly.
“You can’t use that it’s a four tiled word.” Said Sara.
“That’s our Shelly.”
“Have you known eachother long?” Asked Sara.
“Since we were babies, our bloodlines know eachother.”
“What are you people or horses?” Asked Shelly.
“Better a horse then a jack ass.” Said Francine. “We used to play together but then he went to school in Switzerland.”
“What did you major in yodeling?” Asked Shelly.
“No more then that.” Said Gregory.
“It will be cute to see you guys on bikes again.” Said Lee.
“Gregory’s toys are bigger now. He just bought a new porsche.” Said Francine. “Tell them about it.”
“Well.” Said Gregory.
“It’s candy apple red.” Said Francine.
“Turbo charged?” Asked Shelly.
“No he paid cash.” Said Francine.
“It’s a 911 s.c.”
“5 on the floor overhead cam?” Asked Shelly.
“Yeah.”
“My bike can beat it.” Said Shelly.
“You drive a motorcycle?” Asked Gregory.
“Yeah and it’s faster.” Said Shelly.
“Ah.” Said Gregory.
“Wanna race?” Asked Shelly.
“I wanna see that.” Said Lee.
“No burning rubber at Eastland.” Said Sara. “Dinner time soon girls go get ready, Francine go and get changed.” Said Sara.
“I’ll be right back.” Said Francine.
“We’ll finish the game after dinner.” Said Ellie.
“Yeah.” Said Lee.
“Count me out I have plans.” Said Shelly.
“Where you going?” Asked Gregory.
“Town.” Said Shelly.
“What’s life if you don’t have fun?” Asked Gregory.
“Death.” Said Shelly going into the diningroom and he followed her.
“So where are you going?” He asked.
“To the arcade.”
“How would you like it if I showed up?”
“It’s a public place.” Said Shelly. “I mean I couldn’t have you arrested.”
“Well I gotta get back can you tell Frannie I have to go?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Sara it’s been a pleasure.” He kissed her hand.
“You must do that- I mean come by again.”
“I will.” He left.
“What a well mannered young man.” Said Sara.
“It’s sickening.” Said Shelly.
“I’m back Gregory did you miss me?” Asked Francine walking in.
“Your boyfriend had to truck off.” Said Shelly.
“He didn’t tell me what time he was picking me up for the highcrest country club last night.” Said Francine.
“You’re going to a dance?” Asked Lee.
“Cotillion.” Said Francine.
“What’s the difference?” Asked Lee.
“When they hang crepe paper in a gym it’s a dance, when they hang crepe paper in a country club it’s a cotillion.” Said Sara.
“So did he invite you?” Asked Lee.
“Well he started to this afternoon but he got a phone call but when two minds think alike especially when one it’s mine I get what I want.” Said Francine. “Why do you think he came to Bates in the first place.”
“You don’t think he changed countries and schools just for you?” Asked Sara.
“It happened before. Besides his mother had a talk with my mother, it’s a sure thing.” Said Francine.
“It is if you’re going with his mother.” Said Ellie.
“Listen girls I know two things I am going to marry money and two I’m going to the highcrest cotilion tomorrow night.”
“I know what I’ll be doing wearing a retainer for the rest of my life.” Said Lee.
“Hurry up Sara.” Said Ellie.
“I am.” Said Sara trying to think of a word for scrabble.
“I thought you weren’t competitive?” Asked Ellie.
“You learn something new about yourself everyday.” Said Sara.
“Why won’t the phone ring?” Asked Francine.
“I thought you weren’t uptight?” Asked Lee.
“I’m not.” Said Francine.
“How come you spell words like Gregory, Dance, Kill?” Asked Lee.
“Cause I’m going to kill Gregory Helms if he doesn’t call me about the dance.” Said Francine.
“As long as you’re not uptight.” Said Lee.
“Zephyrs. And I used all my letters.” Said Sara.
“Beginners luck.” Said Ellie.
“It’s skill.” Said Sara.
“I hate this game.” Said Francine.
“You got stood up.” Said Lee. Shelly came in.
“You had fun at the arcade?” Asked Sara.
“Yeah.”
“Always fun hanging with friends.” Said Sara.
“Crummy friends.” Said Francine.
“Yeah yours or one anyway. Gregory.” Said Shelly.
“What?” Asked Francine.
“And he’s stubborn he kept following me around every game I played.” Said Shelly.
“So that’s why Francine bombed out.” Said Lee.
“He was like a fly on a no pest strip.” Said Shelly. “The only way I can get rid of him is if I promised to go out with him.”
“On a da-da-da?” Asked Francine.
“Date Francine, we call it a date.” Said Ellie.
“Some wingding tomorrow night.” Said Shelly.
“Could that be your wingding Francine?” Asked Lee.
“I don’t go to wingdings, I go to cotillions.”
“If that’s a dance at the highcrest country club then your cotillion and my wingding is the same thing.” Said Shelly.
“Sort this out alright? Nobody look at my letters. Francine, Shelly sit down.” Said Sara. They did. “Francine thought she was going and she was waiting for his invitation.” Said Sara.
“You mean you been waiting for the call?” Asked Shelly.
“Yes.” Said Ellie and Lee at the same time as Francine said:
“No.”
“I don’t respect you but I respect your turf I won’t take your guy.” Said Shelly.
“Take my guy?” Asked Francine.
“I’m trying to be nice.” Said Shelly.
“She is Francine, she really is.” Said Sara.
“Of course you’re not going you’re out of your league.” Said Francine.
“What humiliation?” Asked Shelly.
“You drink out of the bowl and put ketchup on your quiche.” Said Francine.
“You have no business going there and you know it.”
“I have more business I was asked.” Said Shelly.
“You can’t hack it.” Said Francine.
“I’m going so eat your heart out and don’t forget to put ketchup on it.” Said Shelly.

Later on Francine, Lee and Ellie were in the bedroom.
“Isn’t this exciting?” Asked Lee as Ellie got out pearls.
“Very.” Said Francine.
“Who would have thought that our Shelly would be going to a dance?” Asked Lee.
“Yeah.” Said Ellie.
“Just like Cinderella.” Said Lee.
“Yeah.” Said Ellie. “All that is missing is a wicked step sister.” Said Ellie. Lee looked at Francine. Knock on the door and Sara came in.
“How’s it coming?” Asked Sara.
“Shelly is almost ready.” Said Lee.
“How’s it going Francine?” Asked Sara. Francine clicked her tongue.
“Peachy if he thinks someone like Shelly can take my place lots of luck.” Said Francine.
“You’re sounding snobbish.” Said Sara.
‘They are snobs there it’s what they do best.” Lee and Ellie went to get Shelly and brought her back from the bathroom.
“Hold on to your underwear cause this will blow your mind.” Said Ellie. Shelly walked in wearing a blue dress and a blue bow.
“Shelly you look lovely.” Said Sara.
“Yeah a peasant dress. It makes a statement.” Said Francine.
“She starting with me?” Asked Shelly.
“Don’t hit her else it will ruin your dress.” Said Ellie.
“I have to go clean something.” Said Francine leaving the room. Shelly sat down and out popped her runners.
“I knew I was too comfortable.”
“I have shoes.” Said Sara.
“This is like Cinderella.” Said Lee.
“Can I stay out to midnight?” Asked Shelly.
“You do I’ll turn his porsche into a skateboard.” Said Sara.

Later on Ellie and Lee were doing laundry.
“I wonder what they are doing now? It’s eight.” Said Lee.
“He’s probably saying may I have this waltz?” Said Ellie.
“Charmed I’m sure.” Said Lee.
“And then they get down and boogy. Hey Francine I’m shocked you’re taking this well.” Said Ellie.
“Why?”
“You’re being a good sport.” Said Ellie.
“I mean why her and not me?” Asked Francine crying on her bed.
“Had to open your mouth didn’t you?” Asked Lee.
“How do we shut her up?” Asked Ellie.
“Slap her across the face.” Said Lee.
“No not necessary I’m fine now.” Said Francine.

In the hall Shelly got home. Her hair was in a mess, carrying one shoe. She didn’t want to go in the room. She went to Sara’s room instead.
“Come in.” Said Sara. She did. “Shelly were you in an accident?”
“Gregory Helms had it planned.”
“Didn’t he take you to the club?”
“He took me through and to the back to the green.”
“Wasn’t it too dark to play golf?”
“I don’t think he wanted to do that. He told me to relax get comfortable.”
“He’s a creep.” Said Sara.
“I’m usually a good judge of character he’s rich he’s supposed to be a gentlemen.” Said Shelly.
“Why cause he can yodel?”
“I must look a mess.” Said Shelly. “Can I hang until the girls go to sleep?”
“Yes. What is it Shelly?” Asked Sara as Shelly started crying.
“I thought a cotillion they would treat me like I belonged. I wanted you to be proud of me.”
“I am proud of you. Gregory put you in a terrible position tonight. I mean what he did was inexcusable and you handed it with dignity and class. Although part of me wished you hit him with something.” Said Sara.
“I did. That’s what happened to the other shoe.” Said Shelly. Sara laughed and hugged Shelly.

“The point is she’s not smarter or prettier.” Said Francine.
“Try nicer.” Said Ellie.
“What does she have that I don’t?” Asked Francine.
“A motorcyle that’s what Gregory wanted. It’s a state of flux.” Said Lee.
“What’s flux?” Asked Ellie.
“It’s the part in between being a kid and law school.” Said Lee.
“I would have rebelled with him.” Said Francine.
“To you rebellion is using your salad fork through dinner.” Said Lee. “Shelly is a rebellion to an art form.” Said Lee.
“She has junk.” Said Francine.
“Well she’s doing something right she’s at the dance you’re not.” Said Ellie.
“What does he see in this?” Asked Francine putting on Shelly’s jean jacket. “Wow I can start a new trend punk chic.” Said Francine.
“You’re not convincing as a hells angel.” Said Lee. “Come on Ellie let’s go get something to eat.” They left.

As Ellie and Lee made their way to the candy machine they saw Gregory come in the diningroom.
“Hi.” He said.
“What are you doing here?” Asked Ellie.

“I came to return Shelly’s shoe.” Said Gregory.
“What did you do with the rest of her?” Asked Lee.
“She came home early.”
“We’ll find her for you.” Said Ellie.
“No you can give her this for me.” Said Gregory.
“Ok how is this?” Asked Francine coming in with the jacket and Shelly’s leather cap on.
“You look.....” Gregory was at a lost for words.
“Adventurous? Unpredictable? Lawless?” Asked Francine.
“Ridiculous.” Said Gregory.
“What?” Asked Francine.
“You’re harper’s bizarre not popular mechanics.” Said Gregory.
“ Hey I know you like perfect but sometimes you need a change. You can have steak one time and then a sloppy joe the next.” Said Francine.
“Sloppy joe?” Asked Gregory.
“Yeah.”
“Come on you know how it is.” Said Gregory.
“Did you have fun at the dance?” Asked Francine.
“We didn’t go we went behind it.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how it is if I was going to the dance I would have had you on my arm, I wanted action so I asked Shelly.”
“And you wanted Shelly to play?”
“Yes you understand.”
“You’re not in flux you’re in heat.” Said Francine as she saw Shelly come in behind them.
“Come on you’re the kind that guys married and Shelly’s the kind that guys fool around with.” Said Gregory.
“So there are two kinds of women the kind you marry and the kind you don’t?” Asked Francine.
“Yeah.” Said Gregory.
“That’s what he’s saying.” Said Shelly.
“How can you let him say that deck him.” Said Francine.
“I did that.” Said Shelly. Francine lunged for Gregory but Shelly held her back.
“Francine, Francine.” Said Shelly.
“See yeah.” Said Gregory.
“Stick around and I’ll deck you.” Said Francine. She went for him again but Shelly held her back. He left.
“Stay.” Said Shelly.
“I haven’t been this upset since the price of gold went down.” Said Francine.
“Why did you get so crazy?” Asked Shelly.
“He insulted you.” Said Francine.
“You do that all the time.” Said Shelly.
“That’s different I know what I’m talking about. Why are men like that? They jump to conclusions and on you.”
“When you come from the wrong side of the tracks they think you’re easy.” Said Shelly.
“They think that on the right side to.”
“We have the same problem.” Said Shelly.
“Nobody would believe that.” Said Francine.
“Yeah.” Said Shelly.
“We won’t tell anyone.” Said Francine and they hugged. The two girls developed their friendship more.

Chapter 15
Cousin Cindy

Sara was taking a flask of coffee and some cups to a table in the diningroom when Shelly and Lee came in.
“It’s not fair.” Said Lee.
“Yeah.” Said Shelly.
“What’s not?” Asked Sara.
“The rich keep getting rich.” Said Lee.
“Yeah.” Agreed Shelly.
“Francine won the fine arts festival third year in a row.” Said Lee.
“I’m not surprised she’s talented.” Said Sara. Ellie was there helping Sara when she went over to stand by Shelly and Lee.
“I can hear her speech, ‘I can say this with humility I won this award cause I’m better then anyone else’.” Said Ellie.
“Where is Francine?” Asked Sara.
“Right behind us.” Said Shelly.
“She wants to make the grand entrance.” Said Lee. Francine came in.
“Hello everyone, hello Sara.”
“Hello.” Said Sara.
“What’s new?” Asked Francine.
“‘What’s new’? I understand that congratulations are in order.” Said Sara.
“For what?” Asked Francine.
“For winning the fine arts festival again.” Said Sara.
“Oh that, as I grow older I grow wiser awards don’t mean much anymore.” Said Francine. Lee and Shelly gave her that’s a load of crock look.
“I grow sicker.” Said Shelly.
“We’ll have the victory dinner in your honour again. Where is the painting?” Asked Sara.
“On display, hopefully providing an uplifting experience for all.” Said Francine.
“Uplifting experience? What is it a painting or a bra?” Asked Shelly.
“Maybe a painting of a bra.” Said Lee and she and Shelly laughed.
“Girls please. Oh I have more good news for you Francine.” Said Sara.
“They want to hang me in a museum?” Asked Francine.
“Yeah by your neck.” Said Shelly.
“Shelly.” Warned Sara.
“I won’t listen to anyone that thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavour.” Said Francine.
“ Your mother called while you were in class.” Said Sara.
“My mother? Is she coming to visit?” Asked Francine.
“No.” Said Sara.
“Is she sending the car so I can visit?” Asked Francine.
“No.” Said Sara.
“Maybe she’s sending you to visit the car?” Suggested Shelly.
“Your cousin is visiting.” Said Sara.
“I have many cousins.” Said Francine.
“Hmmm I can’t remember the name but it’s a girl she’s a comedienne.” Said Sara.
“Cousin Cindy?” Asked Francine not thrilled.
“Yeah that’s it she’s performing at the Peekskill Moose Lodge this weekend.” Said Sara.
“In show business?” Asked Ellie as they crowded around Francine.
“In comedy?” Asked Lee.
“A professional?” Asked Ellie.
“Somewhat, she’s working her way up.” Said Francine.
“Is she funny?” Asked Lee.
“Yes.” Said Francine.
“Well I invited her to the celebration.” Said Sara going to another table to fold cloth napkins.
“Why did you do that?” Asked Francine.
“To be nice.” Said Sara.
“I supposed she won’t be able to stay for very long?” Asked Francine.
“I suggested she spend the night.” Said Sara.
“Why did you do that?” Asked Francine.
“To be nice.” Said Sara. “It worked out perfectly you’ll have family here for your big night.” Said Sara.
“Yeah sure what time does she get here?” Asked Francine.
“Not sure.” Said Sara.
“I better call and get the details.” Said Francine going into the common room.
“And I better check the rump roast.” aid Sara going into the kitchen. Ellie, Lee and Shelly went into the middle of the room.
“Is it me or is Francine acting weird?” Asked Lee.
“Weird even for her.” Said Shelly.
“I?
Chapter 21
Francine the make up queen

Lee was brining in a tray of dishes from the kitchen to the diningroom, Ellie was cleaning the diningroom counter and Shelly was cleaning the tables. Sara came in eating a carrot.
“What’s up doc?” Asked Shelly with a laugh.
“Oh yeah. Francine isn’t back from the post office yet.” Said Sara.
“Of course not why should Francine care if we’re slaving away and she’s not.” Said Shelly.
“Polishing silverware is the highlight of my day I have no social life.” Said Lee.
“I guess you be upset with me if I told you that you were going through a difficult age?” Asked Sara.
“No I hear it all the time, my mother tells me that at any age.” Said Lee. All of a sudden they saw someone walk in with boxes covering their face.
“Hey I’m flying solo over here can someone bring me in for a landing?” It was Sean.
“What is this Sean your luggage?” Asked Shelly.
“Sara asked you here for a weekend not the whole year.” Said Ellie.
“Very funny I’m just doing this for Francine. I ran into her she asked me ‘oh Sean can we go to the post office and pick up some packages’?” He pretended to flip his hair like Francine does. “But that we turned out to be me.” Sara laughed at that. Francine came in.
“Sara I’m a S.K girl!” Said a happy Francine.
“A S.K. Girl that’s wonderful!” Said Sara.
“What’s an S.K. girl?” Asked Shelly.
“I don’t know but look how happy it’s making her.” Said Sara.
“I’m selling Stacy Keibler cosmetics.” Said Francine.
“I always admired her.” Said Sara.
“She’s trying a new thing selling make up on campuses.” Said Francine. “And I’m going to be her representative at Eastland.”
“I never knew you were a brush hound.” Said Shelly.
“I’m tired of being the idle rich I want to be the working rich like Jackie O.” Said Francine. Ellie looked at Sean.
“It must be the new thing in minority employment. Hire a heiress.” Said Ellie and Sean laughed.
“I want to stop depending on my mother, my father, my inheritance, my stocks, my t bills, my gold mine.”
“Alright, alright.” Said Sara. “I think it’s good you want to make your own way and you’ll be good at it. Come on Sean lets get you some lemonade.” Said Sara to Sean.
“Francine how are you going to fine time to sell cosmetics you already have the busiest social life?” Asked Lee.
“Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee. One doesn’t ask the sun how it has time to give tans, provide solar energy, revolve around the planet.”
“Give heat stroke.” Said Shelly.
“Stacy’s motto is Dare to be you.”
“You mean dare to put on this goop and go out in public.” Said Shelly.
“Let Stacy turn you into something different and find your inner beauty no matter how deep it’s buried.” Said Francine looking right at Shelly.

Later on Francine walked into the bedroom.
“I don’t believe this I sat at the display table for over two hours and all I got to show for it is leg cramps.” Said Francine.
“Guess the girls aren’t into this stuff huh?” Asked Shelly.
“Make up enhances inner beauty.” Said Francine.
“This reminds me of a play we’re studying in English Death of a Salesman.” Said Shelly smiling at Francine. There was a knock at the door as Ellie held up a nightgown out of the laundry basket to fold.
“Come in.” Said Ellie. Sean came in with more boxes. “Who said he can come in here?” Asked Ellie.
“You just did.”
“I thought you were one of the girls boys aren’t allowed up here.”
“I’m dropping off more skin care kids for Francine.” Said Sean.
“Hehehe.” Said Francine worried. He put them on the bed.
“Ok you can go now bye.” Said Ellie pushing Sean out the door. He pushed back in.
“Hey I gotta sister.” He looked in the laundry basket and picked up the nighty that Ellie was folding.
“Hey this is nice.” He said bug eyed. Francine took it.
“I’ll take that.” He picked up a pair of feet pajamas.
“Ellie still wearing feet pajamas?” Shelly took her basketball and walked over to Sean.
“Those are mine. You wanna make something of it?” Asked Shelly.
“No I wear them to you wanna play some basketball?” Asked Sean.
“Sure let’s play 21.” Said Shelly.
“I’ll spot you six points.” Said Sean.
“Guys always say that the first game.” Said Shelly spinning the ball around on one finger. They left.
“What am I going to do I can be an earning person. Why can’t I sell anything?” Asked Francine. Ellie looked at her and said:
“Let’s look at the manual.” They went over it. Then Francine said:
“All you may need is a walking billboard.”
“You mean someone with a flat face?” Asked Ellie.
“Someone to wear it.” Said Francine. Lee came in.
“Ellie Sara needs you in the kitchen. How’s it going Francine?” Asked Lee.
“Lee.” Said Francine.
“What?” Asked Lee.
“Lee?” Asked Ellie to Francine.
“Lee.” Said Francine.
“What?” Asked Lee.
“Lee.” Said Francine nodding her head.
“What? Oh I get it, it’s a contest to see who can drive Lee crazy first.” Said Lee.
“Good luck.” Said Ellie looking at Francine and leaving.
“Lee how would you like it if I helped you to earn your full beauty potential?” Asked Francine.
“I haven’t yet?” Asked Lee.
“More so?” Asked Francine.
“I always wanted bones.” Said Lee.
“What?” Asked Francine.
“Cheek bones.” She sucked in her cheeks.
“Ok sit down after that we’ll do your eyes and your lips.”
“You have that much time?”
“For you? Yes.” Said Francine.

Later on as Sara, Ellie and Shelly worked in the kitchen Francine came down the steps.
“Francine you’re late have you seen Lee?” Asked Sara.
“The question is have you seen Lee?” Asked Francine. “My first creation.” Said Francine. Lee came downstairs full of make up.
“Oh.” Said Sara. “I thought that was you in there.”
“I knew you love it.” Said Lee.

“Is that you?” Asked Ellie.
“Yeah.” Said Lee.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be near the food your false eye lash might fall in.” Said Shelly.
“Envy causes frown lines.” Said Lee.
“Sorry we’re late.” Said Francine.
“We been dorm hopping.” Said Lee.
“Grab two sponges, Francine clean tables and Lee clean your face.”
“What?” Asked Francine and Lee together.
“I think you’re under there so clean it off.” Said Sara.
“Lee cleanses her face.” Said Francine. The phone rang and Ellie went to answer it. She came back.
“Francine it’s for you long distance.” Francine left.
“She’s right I cleanse my face.” Said Lee. “For 24.99.”
“Are you crazy here look skin care.” Said Sara taking out food to do stuff for skin care.
“I don’t want to put food on my face.” Said Lee.
“But you’ll put this goop?” Asked Sara. Francine came in.
“She’ll be here tomorrow.”
“She will?” Asked Sara.
“Who is she?” Asked Ellie.
“She’ll tell us.” Said Sara.
“Stacy Keibler.” Said Francine.
“I can’t wait till she sees me.” Said Lee flipping back her hair. “I am Francine’s canvas of beauty.” Francine made a french run down of the menu she wanted for the next day.
“Great we’re having franks and beans.” Said Sara. Francine and Sara left the kitchen.
“How much did you have to cough up for this stuff?” Asked Shelly.
“You can’t put a price on beauty.” Said Lee. She went into the diningroom. Shelly looked at Ellie.
“You can’t put a price on beauty?” Repeated Shelly. They followed her into the diningroom.
“Lee how much?” Asked Ellie.
“87.42.” Said Lee.
“What?” Asked Ellie.
“Approximately.” Said Lee gulping.
“Where are you going to get that kind of bread?” Asked Shelly.
“I have a plan.” Said Lee looking at Ellie. “You want to loan me 87.42?”
“You gotta be kidding.” Said Ellie.
“How about a quarter?” Asked Lee.
“Ok.” Said Ellie giving her one. Lee went to make a phone call to her mother to get the money.
“How is she going to do that?” Asked Ellie.
“Knock off a candy store?” Asked Shelly. They heard Lee lie to her mother. Ellie and Shelly just looked at eachother and shook their heads. After Lee got back from the phone she looked at Shelly and Ellie.
“I guess you think I shouldn’t have told that little untruth to my mother?”
“You got that right.” Said Ellie.
“I hear a note of disapproval in your voice.” Said Lee.
“Try disgust.” Said Ellie.
“Francine is my best friend.”
“I thought I was?”
“You’re my best younger friend, Francine is my best older friend.” Said Lee.
“What makes you think that?” Asked Shelly.
“She takes me everywhere.” Said Lee.
“Cause you’re easier to lug around then a sample case.” Said Shelly.
“We’re best friends and it’s going to stay that way.” Said Lee leaving the room. Shelly and Ellie looked at eachother in disgust.

The next day Sara was putting flowers on the diningroom table. Shelly and Ellie came in.
“Lee is still putting stuff on her face.” Said Shelly.
“Oh.” Said Sara.
“I can’t look at her anymore.” Said Shelly.
“She’s looking at herself for all of us.” Said Ellie.
“You excited about a celebrity coming here?” Asked Sara.
“Yes.” Said Ellie as Shelly said:
“No.”
“She smells like orchids in her pictures.” Said Ellie.
“Orchids make me sick.” Said Shelly.
“I talked to Francine and we’ll handle this with dignity.” Said Sara. Francine came running in.
“She’s here, she’s here, I can not stand it.”
“Oh.” Said Sara.
“Stacy Keibler is just outside.” Said Francine.
“And we didn’t clean the driveway.” Said Shelly.
“Now stop it she’s just like you and me. Well me anyway.” Said Francine. Stacy came in.
“Hello Darlings. I am looking for Francine McMahon.”
“Miss Keibler at your service.” Said Francine going on her knees.
“Welcome, ah Francine get off your knees.” Said Sara. “Ah Francine off your knees. Francine? Ah Shelly?” Asked Sara. Shelly helped Francine to stand.
“This is Ellie.” Said Sara.
“You do smell like orchids.” Said Ellie.
“Lillies of the valley. Orchids make me sick.” Said Stacy. Shelly chuckled.
“This is Shelly Austin.” Said Sara.
“Charmed I’m sure.” Said Shelly.
“You have great bone structure.” Said Stacy.
“And I am Francine McMahon.” Said Francine shaking hands with Stacy.
“Of course you are.” Said Stacy.
“Sit down.” Said Sara. “I am Sara Calaway the dietician.”
“Darling you know the true secret to beauty you eat good you look good you eat junk you look like junk.”
“That’s what I been telling them.” Said Sara.
“Two good reasons not to eat Zucchini.” Said Ellie.
“No, no Darling eating vegetables is good.” Said Stacy.
“I love the way you say that.” Said Francine.
“Junk?” Asked Stacy.
“No darling can you teach me?” Asked Francine.
“You have to be born with it darling.” Said Stacy.
“Would you like some tea? An herbal mix no caffeine.” Said Sara.
“Yes darling.” Said Stacy. Sara went to get it and Francine sat down.
“You are beautiful the perfect girl to represent me.” Said Stacy.
“I know and you always been an inspiration.” Said Francine.
“I know darling.” Said Stacy.
“And you married so well.” Said Francine.
“And so often.” Said Stacy. Sara came in with the tea, with Lee behind.
“This is Lee.” Sara rolled her eyes.
“I’m thrilled.” Said Lee.
“I’m speechless.” Said Stacy.
“We knew you love it.” Said Lee.
“What have you done to her face?” Asked Stacy.
“What you wanted me to do.” Said Francine.
“Ok when I come out with my book read it 25 steps to the natural you.” Said Stacy.
“We’ll give away one with each kit.” Said Francine.
“It only cost Lee 87.42.” Said Ellie.
“What?” Asked Sara.
“I don’t give anything away accept advice and my advice is don’t use my make up.” Said Stacy.
“What?” Asked Francine.
“Wait until my new make up comes out for young women.” Said Stacy.
“Good eating habits is a good foundation.” Said Sara.
“I’m going to use that in my new book 26 steps to the natural you.” Said Stacy. “Francine darling don’t be sad you’re going to be a success in life you’re just like me.” Francine perked up. “I have to go darlings.” Said Stacy.
“Not staying for lunch?” Asked Sara.
“No I have to visit more schools.” Said Stacy. “Bye darlings.”
“Bye darling.” Said Sara. Stacy left.
“She’s more glamours then a movie star.” Said Ellie.
“She liked my bone structure.” Said Shelly.
“She has integrity.” Said Sara.
“Some people sell you stuff you can’t afford so you can make a profit.” Said Lee.
“I’m sorry Lee.” Said Francine.
“You made me think we were best friends.” Said Lee.
“Can you ever forgive me?” Asked Francine. Lee turned away.
“Ah Lee what do you want her to do grovel?” Asked Sara. She crossed her arms. “She wants you to grovel.”
“Oh no.” Said Francine.
“Lee it’s not all Francine’s fault.” Said Sara.
“I knew it couldn’t be all my fault.” Said Francine. Lee turned around.
“Well you were selling but Lee you bought it.”
“What?” Asked Lee.
“Every time you bought something you had a chance to share in Francine’s social life.” Said Sara.
“You got me there. I just don’t like being used.” Said Lee.
“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way but you are a real friend.” Said Francine.
“Yeah I know.” Said Lee.
“There go your profits.” Said Ellie.
“Oh no.” Said Francine.
“You’ll find other ways to make money.” Said Sara.
“I think I’ll do what I do best spend money.” Said Francine. She and Lee walked over the table and talked. Francine learned a valuable lesson don’t sacrifice a good friend for the sake of make up.

Chapter 22
Ellie’s chance

Everyone was excited at Eastland. A famous photographer Jonathon “coach” coachman was coming.

Francine was on the phone in the common room and Sara and Shelly was sitting there doing stuff listening to what Francine was saying.
“Guy how can you go on and on about a person’s eyes? They are just chestnut brown with green and gold specks.”
“With bags under them.” Said Shelly disgusted.

*ok it occurred to me that I should asked for someone to do Blair’s part that has chestnut eyes with green and gold specks. Ok Jox you now have chestnut eyes with green and gold specks for this story anyways.

“Oh Guy that’s so cute wait a minute I just have to share this. He says eyes are burned into his memory.” Shelly got up and took the receiver.
“Take two shots of solacane and call her in the morning.” Francine took the receiver back.
“Shelly.” Warned Sara.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Guy.” Said Francine. “And remember I only have eyes for you.” Ellie came in.
“What’s up Ellie?” Asked Sara.
“I’m tired of being under developed.”
“You’ll grow out of it.” Said Sara.
“My pictures look.” Said Ellie. Shelly took one and went to Francine.
“Perfect one of you.” Said Shelly.
“My head is cut off.” Said Francine.
“Exactly.” Said Shelly. Lee came in.
“It’s going to be on the front page of the school paper but I’m the layout artist so I know now.” Said Lee.
“And since I’m in charge of who gets to eat or not tell us.” Said Sara.
“Jonathon Coachman the Coach.” Said Lee.
“The Jonathon Coachman?” Asked Francine.
“Who is Jonathon Coachman?” Asked Shelly. Francine picked up a magazine and pointed to a girl on the cover.
“That’s Jonathon Coachman.”
“He looks like he had an important operation.” Said Shelly.
“Not the girl he’s a photographer.” Said Francine.
“He’s going to be in the area to pick a girl from a school to take pictures of for a magazine.” Said Lee.
“Maybe he can show me how not to chop off heads?” Asked Ellie.
“Oh that’s right he was in Braddock last year and found one.” Said Sara.
“When he sees my face he won’t get to Braddock.” Said Francine.
“He’ll be looking at girls from 2-4 can he use the cafeteria Sara?”
“Yeah I don’t mind high fashion.” Said Sara. She left the room.
“I’m putting a sign up sheet up and I’ll schedule people every five minutes.” Said Lee.
“Who died and made you boss?” Asked Shelly.
“I’m qualified I’m the event person for the paper and I begged and begged.” Said Lee. They walked into the cafeteria diningroom.
“I gotta get ready pick out my gown.” Said Francine.
“No gowns he requested the school uniform.” Said Lee.
“Uniforms? How drab. Oh well he won’t miss my face. Me on the cover of magazines.” Said Francine.
“Yeah kinda makes you wish you had a paper shredder.” Said Shelly.
“Shelly I understand your jealousy my face is harper’s bazaar and your’s is just bazaar.” Said Francine.
“Care to put money where your mouth is Lassie?” Asked Shelly.
“Are you saying you look better then me?” Asked Francine.
“If the shoe fits Benji.”
“You’re on.” Said Francine.
“And make it interesting.” Said Shelly.
“You mean a bet?” Asked Francine.
“Loser does the winner’s kp duty for a week.” Said Shelly.
“You’re on.” Said Francine as they shook hands. Ellie took a picture.
“Why did you take a picture of that?” Asked Lee.
“First time they shook hands history in the making.” Said Ellie.

Lee was brining girls to Coach. Sara brought in lemonade.
“Ambrosia you want some lemonade?” Asked Sara. Ambrosia was putting on her lip gloss.
“No thanks Sara.”
“Right lip gloss.” Lee came up to them.
“Go Ambrosia.” She stood still. “Go Ambrosia.” She didn’t go anywhere. “Ambrosia go.” Said Lee a little louder. “Sara no lemonade they are nervous and we’re behind cause of their pit stops.” Said Lee.
“Right.” Agreed Sara.
“Francine McMahon you’re next.” Said Lee. Francine came in. She was wearing a pink scarf around her neck.
“Am I late?” Asked Francine.
“You’re such a child.” Said Lee.
“Lee!” Said Coach. Lee walked to the table. “Thank you Ambrosia.” Said Coach. She walked over to Francine.
“Ambrosia I’m sorry I couldn’t get here before you’re interview you couldn’t have benefited from my expertise.” Said Francine.
“He said I was striking.” Said Ambrosia.
“Like the Polish auto workers?” Asked Francine.
“And beautiful.” Said Ambrosia.
“That old line.” Said Francine.
“Francine you’re up.” Said Lee. Francine walked over.
“Coach this is Francine McMahon.”
“How do you do?” Asked Coach shaking Francine’s hand. Francine handed Lee a card and Lee began to read it.
“That’s enough Lee.” Said Coach. Lee left and Coach started the interview. Then Shelly walked by.
“Oh miss?”
“What?” Asked Shelly.
“Something to drink.” Said Coach.
“Yeah.” Shelly walked over to Sara.
“Lemonade.” Said Shelly.
“Coming right up. Ellie!” Ellie came over.
“Yeah.”
“How would you like to bring in the lemonade?”
“Sure.” Ellie went in. “Here you go Mr Coachman.”
“Coach, thank you.”
“Can I ask you something from one photographer to another?” Asked Ellie.
“You’re in my light Ellie.” Said Francine.
“Sure.” Said Coach. Ellie started speaking then Coach looked up.
“Wait.”
“I wasn’t done yet.” Said Ellie.
“Lee!” Lee came in.
“Yes?”
“Why wasn’t she on my list?”
“Something wrong with the lemonade it’s from Concentrate?” Asked Ellie.
“She’s just a kid.” Said Lee.
“Yeah I’m a kid.” Said Ellie.
“I like it.” He brought her to the centre of the room.
“What’s her name?” He asked.
“Ellie.” Said Lee.
“This is my new model, Ellie.” Said Coach. Francine was sad and Shelly was happy she won the bet.

The next day in the bedroom.
“I can’t believe Coach picked me.” Said Ellie.
“Neither can I but Francine lost and she’s scrubbing the kitchen.” Said Shelly.
“I can Ellie it’s all right here in this magazine young is in and brunette’s are back.” Said Lee.
“I’m young and I’m as brunette as you can get.” Said Ellie. Sara came in.
“All ready girls?”
“Thanks for letting us go to New York.” Said Lee.
“While Ellie and me are at the photo shoot you girls can take in the museum.” Said Sara. “Ellie get dressed.”
“I’m trying to decide what to wear.” Said Ellie.
“Something comfortable.” Said Sara. Francine came in moaning.
“Ask Francine she’s the fashion expert.” Said Lee.
“I’m not good enough.” Said Francine.
“Yes you are, you’re just over the hill.” Said Ellie.
“Yeah read your magazine.” Said Lee.
“You might as well be Sara.” Said Shelly.
“I feel better.” Said Francine.
“I don’t.” Said Sara.
‘Francine please help me.” Said Ellie.
“Wear this and that and this.” Said Francine.
“Can I have Francine at the shoot to?” Asked Ellie.
“Sure I’m the chaperone and Francine can be your dresser.”
“Fashion co-ordinator.” Said Francine.
“And I’ll show Lee the museum.” Said Shelly.
“You been to the Guggenheim?” Asked Lee.
“Yeah long skateboard run.” Said Shelly.

At the shoot Sara tried to open the dressing room door.
“There is a large woman who won’t let me in to see Ellie.” Said Sara.
“The room’s are so small and the wardrobe girl knows what she should wear.” Said Coach.
“This is fascinating.” Said Francine looking around. “What do you call this?”
“A light.” Said
“I hope she’s not going to sit on this stool her legs are her best feature.” Said Francine.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Said Coach. Ellie came out dressed in an African outfit looking very mature.
“You look wonderful.” Said Coach. “I was right about you.”
“I’m not sure about this.” Said Sara.
“That lipstick is all wrong for her.” Said Francine.
“Two stage mothers for the price of one.” Said Coach. “Candice Michelle move it darling!” A girl came out.
“Who is Candice Michelle?” Asked Sara. “Oh you are.” Noted Sara.
“Ok let me get a filter.” Said Coach leaving the room.
“Oh hi.” Said Candice.
“Hi ah can I ask you something?” Asked Sara.
“Sure.”
“How old are you?”
“14 but don’t tell Coach he thinks I’m 12. Who are you?”
“This is Francine Ellie’s...” Said Sara.
“Fashion co-ordinator.” Said Francine.
“And this is Sara the nutritionist.” Said Ellie.
“Wow.” Said Candice. Coach came back.
‘Show time.” He said.
“Now don’t let Candice upstage you.” Said Francine.
“I won’t if you tell me what that means.” Said Ellie.
“Ellie if you need me I’ll be right here pacing.” Said Sara. The session started. Coach wanted her to think sexy thoughts.
“I can’t stand it.”
“I hate to see him suffer.” Said Sara. Coach got her to do some sexy animal poses.
“You’re not a kid you’re a sexy leopard.”
“And he’s the zoo.” Said Sara.
“That’s what I want to talk about.” Said Coach.
“We’re ending it.” Said Sara.
“No, Candice is going to finish today.”
“I blew it.” Said Ellie.
“No see you in two weeks.” Said Coach.
“No exam time.” Said Sara.
‘Right get a tutor in Manhattan.” Said Coach.
“Out of the question.” Said Sara.
“And lose 8 pounds to lose the baby fat.” Said Coach.
“She’s a baby out of the question.” Said Sara.
“You want a stick you’ll get a stick.” Said Francine.
“No.” Said Sara.
‘Then she won’t make it in this business.” Said Coach. “She only has a few good years left even Candice is on her way out.”
“She’s 14.” Said Sara.
“12!” Yelled Candice from the dressing room. Shelly and Lee came in.
“Ellie is that you?” Asked Shelly.
“Yeah.” Said Ellie.
“I don’t believe it.” Said Lee.
“We saw less paint on the Picassos.” Said Shelly.
“And we have to get you fitted for your wig.” Said Coach.
“What fun and the wardrobe?” Asked Francine.
“That is her wardrobe.” Said Coach.
“No.” Said Sara.
“Tasteful sex is what the public wants.” Said Coach.
“She’s a child this isn’t right.” Said Sara.
“It’s high fashion.” Said Coach.
“Pornography, child pornography.” Said Sara.
“I’ll talk to her parents.” Said Coach.
“You won’t have to, this day has been outrageous.”
“Good.” Said Coach.
“But I don’t want to do it.” Said Ellie.
“You’re giving it up?” Asked Coach.
“I don’t want to give up food, my friends, fun, school.” Said Ellie.
“You’re saying no?” Asked Coach.
“I’‘m saying no.” Said Ellie.
‘Right on.” Said Shelly.
“Candice put on the wig.” Said Coach leaving the room.
“You wanting to stay a kid is the most adult thing you ever done.” Said Sara.
“Yeah.” Said Ellie.
“Ok lunch time my treat.”
“Where should we go?” Asked Lee.
“Anywhere that Ellie wants.” Said Sara.
“Central Park to get hot dogs.” Said Ellie.
“That’s for kids.” Said Francine.
“I know.” Said Ellie.

The End